Ask 40-Foot Lilah

[Aunt Arlene]

Dear Forty Foot Lilah,

I was just introduced to the wonder that is the Darla Dance. I am still trying to learn all of the steps. Yesterday I was practicing at work and I kicked over a lamp. This started a fire which caused the sprinklers to go off. One of my male coworkers was forced to remove his pants due to slight flame damage. Was it wrong for me to admire him in his dampened, pantless state? Or should I have been trying to put out the fire that was rapidly consuming my office?

Signed,
If They Don't Fire Me For Sexual Harassment, The Fire Ought To Do It

[PyleansDontLeaveMe]

Dear FOrty Foot Lilah,

So what's up? You never call... you never write...you never grind us into a sticky paste beneath your immaculate heel.... did we do something to displease you?

Signed,
Adoring minions.

[Darkchylde]

Dear Forty Foot Lilah,

Where have you been these last few years? Are you still taking questions? I thought I'd try and remind everyone of your presence.

Signed,
That Gay adoring Aussie minion