Re: What's Your Sign?

[Charisma69]

[Wow, I finally had a chance to read this. Great stuff. I'd post more but I just noticed I have some IM's so I'll be back.

[tjaman]

What's Your Sign?

Act 1 Synopsis:

We meet flaky astrologist Crystal Vanya (Capricorn) waking up from partying too hard the night before with her boyfriend, Marshall Trewell (Gemini). She accepts delivery of a LaToya Jackson crystal she spent $100 on. Her sullen teen son Derek (Pisces) and his history study partner/Goth girlfriend Enid Gray (Virgo) tumble out of Derek's room on their way to school and Crystal freaks out, certain that they've had sex, that Enid is pregnant, that she's a grandmother, but they've mostly been studying for finals. Crystal apologizes, and they go to school. Her editor Sherrie (Aquarius) calls from the coffeehouse newsletter that carries her column -- The Upstart -- demanding to know where Crystal's column is for the day, and her ex-husband Mark (Taurus) calls demanding to know what happened to the $100 he gave her for Derek's summer baseball league. He's outraged that she spent the money on the Jackson crystal, claiming his girlfriend and secretary Brenda (Libra) had to drive to the school to drop another check. Crystal writes up a totally unprintable column and sends it in, and is fired by Jack (also a Taurus), who is Sherrie's boss. They offer her $100 severance pay.

Act 2 Synopsis

Crystal is awakened by her son coming back from the bakery with some bagels. He was gonna go for a run, but it was raining. He also brings the Star Tribune classified for her to look for another job. Trewell shows up and brings a copy of the Upstart with the horoscope column they did run. Crystal reads through it and finds all sorts of errors (from her perspective) and then reads her own horoscope. And it predicts a terrible day for her. As the action continues, the terrible horoscope seems to be coming true -- accidents in the home, spider sightings and deeply foreboding warnings that a loved one is in trouble. At about that time, her son gets a call that his girlfriend has collapsed from an asthma attack during her trig final and Crystal blames the horoscope as she flees the apartment to go pick her up.

[tjaman]

What’s Your Sign?

A comedy in three acts
by tjaman

Dramatis Personæ

Crystal Vanya a.k.a. Bess Leitfeldt: A beautiful blonde astrologer, mid-30s.
Derek Leitfeldt: A sullen teen, her son.
Faqir Markku: A delivery man.
Enid Gray: Another sullen teen, Derek’s study partner and potential girlfriend. Physically not dissimilar to Derek.
Sherrie Weiler: Assistant features coordinator for the Upstart, a hip young news circular trying to establish itself in Minneapolis coffeehouses.
Karma 2020 a.k.a. Marshall Trewell: Crystal’s tousled young assistant and lover, early 30s.
Mark Leitfeldt: An ex-husband
Jack Harmon: Weiler’s editor.
Myrtle Weintraub: She’s 86.

ACT 3

SET: CRYSTAL’s sitting/living/bedroomy type situation, largely unchanged, except that it is afternoon and the clock reads 12:33. Light is mostly coming through S window, somewhat stronger than morning. MAKEUP: CRYSTAL is frizzled and frazzled, obviously through some ordeal, and not least of which for wearing raincoat, bathrobe and bedclothes on this particular outing. Her face is smudged and her hair and clothes are bedraggled. TREWELL is a bit smudged as well, while DEREK and ENID are largely unscathed.

(LIGHTS UP)

(DOOR slams)

CRYSTAL: (From SL-Kitchen) I don’t care if it looked completely impossible. (Enters SL-Kitchen followed by DEREK, ENID and TREWELL, all removing coats. DEREK and TREWELL cross, take positions US) You had us scared to death.
ENID: (Taking a position DSL holding a Sprite bottle) It worked, though.
CRYSTAL: WORKED? (Takes a position DSR, ahead of bureau, facing ENID) The day I’m having, I shouldn’t have left the house, let alone driven anywhere.
ENID: You didn’t have to do anything.
CRYSTAL: That’s not what we heard. We heard you collapsed. We heard you were passed out in the school sickroom.
ENID: You’d pass out too if you smelled that room.
DEREK: (Giggles)
CRYSTAL: Derek!
DEREK: Well, I’m sorry, mom, but it’s not misnamed. It’s a pretty sick room.
TREWELL: (Exits SL-Kitchen)
CRYSTAL: (Ignores DEREK, pacing) And then the car breaks down on the way over there ...
DEREK: (Crossing SL) The tire went flat. The car didn’t “break down.”
CRYSTAL: Darling, please, it stopped going forward in mid-morning traffic. “Broke down” is as good a description of that as any.
DEREK: Whatever. We got the tire changed.
TREWELL: (Enters SL-Kitchen with tray and three coffees. Crosses USR and passes them out. One to CRYSTAL, then one to DEREK, and then takes one himself, dropping tray on bureau. ENID still has her Sprite.)
CRYSTAL: I got the tire changed. (To TREWELL, accepting coffee) Thank you, darling. (Back to DEREK) You men standing there supervising the work ...
TREWELL: Hey, I helped ...
CRYSTAL: (Almost no pause) ... in the rain, for chrissakes ...
DEREK: It mostly stopped raining by then ...
CRYSTAL: (Very slight pause over his line) ... while three lanes of traffic inch by blaming me for their own lack of foresight in getting where they needed to go. (Finds Jackson crystal and clutches it to herself) They should anticipate that during finals week, there’s a lot more traffic on the road ...
DEREK: Mom ...
CRYSTAL: ... from kids FAKING ASTHMA ATTACKS to get out of a test!
ENID: Look, I told you, I honestly did black out for a minute.
CRYSTAL: (In no way convinced) Honestly?
ENID: It’s not math so much as its own religion. I just couldn’t sit there anymore facing side-angle-side-angle-cosine-blessed-arc-thou-among-women-and-blessed-be-the-fruit-of-the-loom-Jesus-arc-angle-Gabriel-radian-in-excelsior and then a page full of DERIVATIVES just to keep us on our toes.

(CRYSTAL drops crystal on ottoman)

TREWELL: (About to argue the importance of math) Areas under curves don’t calculate themselves ...
ENID: (Ignores him) In a single moment I went completely blank. And then it didn’t matter any more. The whole test came down to a single equation. And the answer? The absolute right answer? (Assumes academic air) A single sheet of paper placed neatly over the test, empty except for a calculation of the teacher’s age and a sum rule derivative of the number of years remaining until retirement, expressed as a limiting integral.
TREWELL: That’s just cruel.
ENID: Something like fifty-nine-and-a-half sigma pi one to pi zero on dee ex over ex something or other.
CRYSTAL: (Shudders) And after that reading. I about had a heart attack.
ENID: What reading?
CRYSTAL: This crap horoscope they ran in the Upstart today instead of mine. (Reads Upstart) “Capricorn: A spider day.” (Shudders, looks around nervously) “You’re off to a wet start. Unexpected guests bring love and ambiguity. Excitement comes in the morning. Safety first, as most accidents occur in the home. A loved one takes a turn for the worse. ...”
ENID: (Interrupts) So?
CRYSTAL: So, this day has been insane. With Marsh coming over this morning out of the blue announcing he loves me and bringing this impossibly incorrect nonsense, with that — ew, well, it looked like a spider — running around, that was pretty exciting, to say the least. Then tripping over that cord, I was beside myself in case anything should happen.
ENID: But nothing happened to me. I completely fake collapsed. I’m fine! I just don’t know calculus is all.
CRYSTAL: That’s just it. If you’re fine, then what’s going to happen to a loved one? (Pause) I mean, which loved one? It could happen any moment! That phone could ring at any minute and it could be you (Points at DEREK, who drops coffee at desk, crosses SL-Hallway and exits), or you (Points at TREWELL) (Looks back to ENID) or it could really be you this time, really collapsed.
(Speakerphone rings)
CRYSTAL: (Fixing it with a horrified stare) Omigod, this could be the accident right now. (Stands SL of ottoman and hits button on Speakerphone) Who’s there? I mean, (Struggles for poise) um, peace and joy, Enchantress Crystal Vanya ... oh, WHO’S THERE?
DEREK: (Over phone, ominous) The Angel of Death. Woo-oo-oo-oo!
CRYSTAL: (Clutches chest, stares at speakerphone, as TREWELL and ENID both look off SL)
DEREK: (Enters SL-Hallway holding cell phone) Everything’s all right, mom. (CRYSTAL stares at him) It was just me. (Picks up coffee at desk) You’ve got to calm down.
CRYSTAL: (Throws Upstart on ottoman) DON’T DO THAT! (Paces) An accident is predicted, and an accident MIGHT HAPPEN! To a LOVED ONE! Taking a TURN FOR THE WORSE! (Looking around nervously) Don’t you see? (To DEREK) Well, don’t you?
TREWELL: (Crossing around DSR of couch and to CRYSTAL) Darling, please, the boy has a point. I mean honestly, consider the source on this.
ENID: Look, I escaped that prediction so far, and I’ll do my best — now that I know about it — to stay safe.
CRYSTAL: (Crosses to armoire) But I only thought it was you. It could be anyone!
TREWELL: Honey, sit down, relax, drink your coffee.
CRYSTAL: (Grabs garment bag) I can’t relax! Sherrie’s going to be here soon and this place is a ... (Touches her hair) omigod, I’m a wreck! (Crossing to SR-Bathroom) You — (Points to TREWELL and ENID and DEREK) — you, you, you clean this place up. I’ve got to get ready. (Exits SR-Bathroom)
DEREK: (Drops coffee on desk) Hey, don’t look at me. (Crossing to SL-Kitchen) I’ve got a final in 20 minutes. (Reverses, crosses up to ENID) In fact, gotta run. (Kisses her and begins cross to SL-Kitchen)

[tjaman]

ENID: (Follow him a step — you’re leaving me here? With them?) Um ... Derek?
DEREK: (Crossing to SL-Kitchen) Back in a while, Gray.
ENID: I (Resigned) ... Good luck, okay?
DEREK: (In SL-Kitchen entrance) No sweat. Oh, and if I do forget anything, I’ll just ... (Collapses to the floor as CRYSTAL re-enters SR-Bathroom)
CRYSTAL: AGH! Derek, my baby! (Runs to him)
DEREK: (Gets up quick as CRYSTAL gets halfway across stage, irritated) MOM! (Looks to ENID, who rolls her eyes) Please, I’m all right. I was just messing around.
CRYSTAL: PLEASE don’t do that to me. (Picks up Jackson crystal, trying to focus) I need cleansing inside and out today. (Turns, exits SR-Bathroom)
DEREK: I’m going. Later. (Exits SL-Kitchen)
(door slams, shower starts)
TREWELL: (Works on cleaning up room, starting with area around bureau)
ENID: (Sets Sprite bottle on chair near telescope, cleans around armoire)
ENID: (During cleanup operation, finds one of Crystal’s shawls and puts it on) So you’re the Space Cowboy.
TREWELL: (Grins) I am the Karma 2020. I tell Crystal where the planets are.
ENID: And this helps how?
TREWELL: The theory goes, if you’re born at such-and-such a time, at such-and-such a date, there’s star signs, rising signs and sun signs. These influence every last detail of your life, and by reading your horoscope, you can prepare yourself.
ENID: Okay, so, like, I’m a Virgo, and I’m going to be really not ready for a precalc final. Shouldn’t that be in there somewhere, and I can just, like, not show up that day? Or, maybe when I signed up for the class, it should have said, “Look, sweetheart, just take a band elective or something ’cuz you’re gonna blow the final big time.”
TREWELL: Well, there’s only like five or six lines available for each sign. She’s got to pick and choose what she puts in there.
ENID: (Picks up her empty Sprite bottle, and bumps telescope) Oops!
TREWELL: What? (Looks up at her)
ENID: I think I may have moved it.
TREWELL: Oh, don’t worry about it. (Crosses to telescope, picks up bra) I know where it all is to find it again.
ENID: (Watches as TREWELL crosses back to bureau) So, you’re serious about all these “moon in the seventh house” things, huh?
TREWELL: (Folding bra and putting it in the bureau) Well, Crystal is.
ENID: What gives? Is she just nuts?
TREWELL: She’s not nuts. Crystal is — what’s the best way to put this? — sensitive. She’s seen a lot of changes this past year, with Mark cheating on her, the divorce, and Derek changing schools. Starting a daily column — even a horoscopes column — you have to be dedicated.
ENID: Or committed.
TREWELL: Well, she cares. Look (Points to clock) Up until yesterday, she had that clock set ahead an hour so that she could give what she felt was honestly the next day’s reading. She quizzes me regularly about the movements of the planets so we’re both sharp ...
(shower shuts off, pause, hair dryer turns on)
TREWELL: (No pause during these SOUNDS, points to Star Chart) ... and she keeps that chart updated regularly. She wants genuinely to do a good job. (Reflective, as ENID exits SL-Kitchen with Sprite bottle, bagels and classifieds) I wish she could just step back from it and see how much fun it actually is.
ENID: (Enters SL-Kitchen) How could it not be, just making stuff up and getting paid for it? (Begins straightening bedclothes, as TREWELL puts coffee cups on tray and retrieves coffee cups. Notebook ends up on ottoman, next to Upstart)
(hair dryer shuts off)
TREWELL: Well, normally, she’s very precise about where everything is, all the planets and stars and whatnot. She thinks very deeply about it, concentrates, even agonizes about the meanings of the various conjunctions. (Crosses to SL-Kitchen) She consults diagrams, documents, scrolls, texts and revisits things constantly. (Exits SL-Kitchen with tray)
ENID: Is “anal retentive” hyphenated?
TREWELL: (Re-enters SL-Kitchen) But yesterday, when Mark called, she just snapped. Ideas were just flowing from her, almost instinctively.
ENID: (US of couch) Yeah?
TREWELL: (DS of desk) She was moving in the spirit and her qi set her free.
CRYSTAL: (Enters SR-Bathroom) Which promptly got me fired.
TREWELL: (Both stare at her, speechless. She is wearing a maroon business suit,
ENID: cosmetic glasses and an immaculate bun and looks like an English teacher)
TREWELL: Wow, you look ...
ENID: ... incredible — just incredible, Ms. Vanya.
CRYSTAL: (All business) Call me Ms. Leitfeldt. (Crosses to couch) Marshall, please go in and get some of that schmutz off your face. (TREWELL moves to SR-Bathroom) Enid, be a dear and make some more coffee ... (ENID moves to SL-Kitchen) ... as Sherrie’s going to be here any minute. Oh, and guys? (Looking around as TREWELL and ENID turn to look at her) Nice work on the room. (They nod and exit. CRYSTAL looks around, holds Jackson crystal aloft) Oh, LaToya, LaToya, cleanse the room of darkness and fill my soul with light. Fill my home with peace and cleanse the creativity. (Move a full circuit around the room; pause at bureau to light some incense, bring lighter to desk to light two red candles and drop lighter at desk, all the while CHANTING “om.” Come to a rest at the couch, sit very straight with crystal resting in lap. Eyes closed, palms aloft, chanting)
CRYSTAL: Om ... om ... om ...
(doorbell rings)
ENID: (From SL-Kitchen) Ms. Leitfeldt? (Pause) Sherrie’s at the door.
CRYSTAL: (Eyes closed, move crystal to ottoman, tinkle dangly things on lamp) Peace and joy, Enchantress Bess Leitfeldt speaking. (Opens eyes, as ENID appears at SL-Kitchen) Let’s brighten someone’s day. (To ENID) Please let her in, Miss Gray.
ENID: (Exits)
(Pause, DOOR opens, closes)
CRYSTAL: (Stands)
ENID: (Into this masquerade without fully knowing why) Presenting Ms. Sherrie, er ... (Crosses US of desk)
SHERRIE: (Enters SL-Kitchen) Weiler, dear. Sherrie Weiler. (Pauses just inside entrance, taking in CRYSTAL’s business suit)
CRYSTAL: Ms. Weiler. (Extends hand, which SHERRIE crosses to shake) Thank you for coming over this day. I have a number of comments about the horoscope column that appeared in today’s Upstart. Coffee, Enid dear?
ENID: (Exits SL-Kitchen)
SHERRIE: Look, Ms. Vanya ...
CRYSTAL: Ms. Leitfeldt, please. We’re businesswomen. We may safely dispense with noms de plume, I think. Please have a seat.
SHERRIE: (Moves to desk but hasn’t committed) Look, Ms. Leitfeldt, there’s a lot going on down at the paper today and ...
CRYSTAL: And don’t think I don’t appreciate your time. (As ENID enters SL-Kitchen, bringing in two cups) Coffee? (SHERRIE and CRYSTAL both take cups; SHERRIE sits down, sips hers. CRYSTAL doesn’t sip or even look at hers, but instead sets it on the ottoman. There is a teabag in it, hanging off the upstage side) Ah ... (As TREWELL enters SR-Bathroom) And, Enid darling, please bring another cup for my associate Mr. Trewell. (ENID all but curtsies, turns and exits SL-Kitchen)
SHERRIE: (Half stands, by way of saying hello) Marshall ...
CRYSTAL: (Picks up notebook, hands it to TREWELL. To SHERRIE) Mr. Trewell ... (SHERRIE sits back down) is serving to corroborate the evidence I plan to present in this meeting ...
TREWELL: (Sits on tuffet)
SHERRIE: This may not be necessary ...
CRYSTAL: (Picks up Upstart; pause is hard to detect) ... concerning Miss so-called Sadie Sophra.
ENID: (Enters SL-Kitchen with cup of coffee, crosses to TREWELL, hands it to him, exits SL-Hallway)
SHERRIE: Yes ...
CRYSTAL: Ms. Sophra says the sun is in Aries today. Mr. Trewell, will you confirm the position of the sun for me, please?
TREWELL: As of two nights ago, the sun was just moving into the sign of Taurus.
CRYSTAL: Hmm.
TREWELL: By now, it’s all the way there.
SHERRIE: Yes, well ...
CRYSTAL: In the column I submitted, Taurus was warned about possible health concerns. Where is your editor today, Ms. Weiler?
SHERRIE: At the clinic, but ...
CRYSTAL: Ah, bup, bup, bup, what’s he suffering from?
SHERRIE: An ulcer ...
CRYSTAL: Yes, and his star sign?
SHERRIE: He’s a Taurus.
CRYSTAL: Yes!
SHERRIE: But that whole entry was written to spite your ex-husband.
CRYSTAL: (Eyes flashing) Or was it divine insight?
SHERRIE: I’m pretty sure it was spite. Otherwise, every Taurus on the planet would have been admitted to a hospital yesterday, wouldn’t they?

[tjaman]

CRYSTAL: (About to concede a point, but decides to press forward) Now, about the rain ...
SHERRIE: (Testy) No one should be doing the weather in these things ...
CRYSTAL: (Very slight pause) ... and this gossipy Venus in Aquarius...
SHERRIE: ... you don’t want to bring that up.
CRYSTAL: (Found a nerve) Did Sadie Sophra warn you about keeping secrets secret?
SHERRIE: Well, no ...
CRYSTAL: In fact, didn’t she say the exact opposite?
SHERRIE: Well, yes ...
CRYSTAL: And WHAT HAS HAPPENED?
SHERRIE: (Deflated) Okay, some information got out that shouldn’t have.
CRYSTAL: AHA!
SHERRIE: But Ms. Van— er, Leitfeldt ...
CRYSTAL: (Stands, shakes out hair, whips off glasses, holds Jackson crystal aloft) YOU MAY ADDRESS ME AS THE ENCHANTRESS CRYSTAL VANYA!
SHERRIE: (Stands) Now wait a minute ...
TREWELL: (Stands) Crystal, darling.
CRYSTAL: (To TREWELL) SILENCE!
SHERRIE: Look, now, fun’s fun, but I need to interject ...
CRYSTAL: I’m the one who knows what’s happening. I’m the one with the lock on the positions of the planets and what they mean.
SHERRIE: No one’s disputing that.
CRYSTAL: (Crosses to desk) I’m the one with people calling me at home asking for advice. (Holds up two envelopes) I’m the one with the fan mail.
SHERRIE: That’s your gas bill.
CRYSTAL: SILENCE! (Blows out one of the candles on the desk and stares fixedly at SHERRIE, who cringes involuntarily) I am the oracle your readers consult on a daily basis.
SHERRIE: I know ...
CRYSTAL: Then what’s with this Sadie Sophra?
SHERRIE: I’M SADIE SOPHRA!
(Stunned silence)
SHERRIE: (As CRYSTAL and TREWELL both sit. CRYSTAL puts glasses back on) Look, the columns have always been far more detailed than they probably need to be, and you clearly put a great deal of work into it. But frankly we’re just trying to lighten up people’s days in the half a minute or so they devote to us on average. Your predictions ...
CRYSTAL: You’re Sadie Sophra?
SHERRIE: ... Well, your pieces always seem so hit-and-miss, and I didn’t think there’d be much harm in drawing some up myself ...
CRYSTAL: I ... I just can’t believe it.
SHERRIE: But the phones were just off the hook this morning, wondering if the Upstart was going to come with umbrellas, because the paper wasn’t keeping them dry outside. Others wondered about the animals ..
CRYSTAL: Including me.
SHERRIE: (Frustrated) But look. How much more does it mean to have a “mauve” day than a “moose” day?
CRYSTAL: How many calls did you get?
SHERRIE: I stopped counting at 30, but it was a bunch.
CRYSTAL: Wow.
SHERRIE: I know.
CRYSTAL: Well, it seems to have meant something to them.
SHERRIE: Yeah. (Grudging) So, look, can we ask you to come back?
CRYSTAL: Not so fast. How the hell did you get my day so dead on?
SHERRIE: What, the wet start? I figured you’d have a shower. I figured you’d get upset about the new horoscopes, which covers the emotional spectrum ...
CRYSTAL: Hmm ...
SHERRIE: And I knew you hated spiders, so that’s the day you got.
CRYSTAL: Wow.
TREWELL: And, honey ...
CRYSTAL: What?
TREWELL: That trip this morning?
CRYSTAL: What about it?
TREWELL: Well, it was the exact same tumble you took last week when you still hadn’t taped that cord down. (CRYSTAL grimaces) It’s just today you were reading so much into it ...
CRYSTAL: Oh wow ...
TREWELL: And Derek’s okay, and you’re okay, I’m okay and Enid’s just fine. It’s just you got so excited, is all.
SHERRIE: And most accidents do occur in the home. It’s just a truism.
CRYSTAL: (Still a little unsure) Yeah ...
SHERRIE: And that marketing information would’ve gotten out anyway, Venus or no.
CRYSTAL: (Resigned) Right again.
SHERRIE: (Moves a step closer) You know, your reading for the day before didn’t include anything about getting fired ...
CRYSTAL: I know ...
SHERRIE: (Lays hand on her shoulder) Or getting hired back ...
CRYSTAL: No.
SHERRIE: So obviously you can’t get too comprehensive.
CRYSTAL: Well, I only have so much space ... (Measures little box with her fingers)
SHERRIE: (Smiling) Absolutely. (Looks at watch) Well, we’ve already missed the cutoff for tomorrow, but would you consider something for the day after?
CRYSTAL: Well, let’s see. (Picks up foldie-askie thingie) Pick a number.
SHERRIE: Um ... 5.
CRYSTAL: (Flipping foldie-askie thingie back and forth) 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5. Okay, pick a color.
SHERRIE: I don’t know. Um, what color was Aquarius for today?
CRYSTAL: (Rolls eyes) Don’t be a bitch, just pick one.
SHERRIE: Okay, (Looking) um, puce.
(CRYSTAL and TREWELL exchange a look)
CRYSTAL: Okay (Flipping back and forth) P - U - C - E. Pick a color.
SHERRIE: (Pointing) Red.
CRYSTAL: (Opens it) The answer is ... Wait a minute. What about that $100 severance? Y’know, for firing me?
SHERRIE: (Impatient) Oh, um, call it a signing bonus. (Points at foldie-askie thing) What’s it say?
CRYSTAL: It says ... (Looks, thinks a moment, tosses it over her shoulder, where it’s caught by TREWELL) Oh, what the hell. Yes!
SHERRIE: (Laughing) Oh, I’m so glad.
CRYSTAL: Me too, Sherrie. Me too.
SHERRIE: (To TREWELL) Well, it’s been fun, but I’ve gotta head back. (To CRYSTAL) I’ll watch for something tomorrow morning?
CRYSTAL: Bright and early.
SHERRIE: Dreamy days, all. (Exits, SL-Kitchen)
(DOOR opens, closes)
TREWELL: (Looks at foldie-askie thingie) Um, Crystal?
CRYSTAL: What, darling?
TREWELL: Oh, nothing. It’s just that under red it says “No way! Absolutely not! Forget it!”
CRYSTAL: (Crossing to clock) Well, sometimes you just have to write your own fortune. (Sets hands on clock an hour ahead) So, Marsh, you want to stop back tonight and get some readings for me?
TREWELL: I don’t know. (Grins) What if it’s still cloudy?
CRYSTAL: We can probably figure out something to do until it clears up. (They kiss) And who knows? I might just be able to come up with something regardless.
TREWELL: That’s the spirit. (They kiss again)
ENID: (Enters, SL-Hallway) I heard the door. What happened?
CRYSTAL: (As TREWELL grabs raincoat) Ah, the stars predict a dreamy day for Enchantress Crystal Vanya.
ENID: That’s great. (Sees TREWELL shrugging on coat) Oh, um, could I get a ride to the school? My car’s over there still.
TREWELL: Sure. Come on, let’s go. (Exits SL-Kitchen)
ENID: (Crosses to SL-Kitchen entrance)
(DOOR opens)
CRYSTAL: (Sits at couch, picks up cup, notices teabag for the first time and lifts it into view) Enid? (ENID turns) Darling, wasn’t there coffee?
ENID: It seemed pretty weak, so I dropped a tea bag in it. Hope that’s all right.
CRYSTAL: No, that’s fine. Thank you, darling.
ENID: Later. (Exits SL-Kitchen)
(DOOR closes)
CRYSTAL: (Sips tea) What the ... (Looks at it) ... chamomile? (Removes glasses, looks around nervously)
(SPECIAL EFFECT: FLUFF drops from flies on nylon filament,
stopping about even with CRYSTAL’s face, a few inches away from her)
CRYSTAL: (Sees it) AGGHH! (Collapses on couch)

[Charisma69]

That's not how it ends, is it?

There is more coming, right?

I've been enjoying the read, it would be great to see this on stage. ;D

[tjaman]

To understand Cordy's last comment in context, check the date of her post against the "last edit" in the frame above. Act I and Act II were switched out with summaries as Act III was posted.