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Post by PyleansDontLeaveMe on Dec 29, 2004 17:37:35 GMT -5
This thread is for feedback and discussion of work distributed amongst the Algonquin Round Table between December 29th, 2004 and January 4th, 2005
The pieces in question are :
Scenes 2-4 of Hell is Where the Heart is - from Py
If you would like to be added to the roles of the illustrious Algonquin Round Table in order to be able to submit and receive Round Table works in progress, please contact Py, who will probably just add your name to the roster without any bruhaha whatsoever.
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Post by tjaman on Dec 30, 2004 6:13:09 GMT -5
I loved it, but it's late, so I'll just jump right into it.
Sam's contextless introduction is too similar to Amy's, and should be rewritten or may be safely cut, alhough it provides a nice bit of introduction as to how his mind works and who he might be in this production. Those factors are intriguing. 
It also occurs to me that for a musical, there seem to be some long stretches between musical numbers. So expanding Sam's intro -- making it significantly different than Amy's and including a solo or a group sing at the end -- the plight of the single man in Hell, perhaps -- might be a fun way to explore his personality.
Just off the top of my head, I see a "Single Men's Support Group" -- eight guys and a demon, maybe, with cold coffee in styrofoam cups with at least a couple of the uncomfortable folding chairs occupied by men who would clearly be more interested in pursuing a relationship with each other than in meeting single women -- and closing with a fun group sing, thereby solving two problems.
But, y'know, that's just my take on it.
I loved the bar scene in hell. Sam's serenade of Amy seems to come a little bit fast (another reason why "Being Single Is Hell," introducing a goal for Sam [besides maybe running the place, though that could certainly come up during the group session], would maybe be a better way to go). But the interactions are wonderful.
Anyway, I'm really enjoying this, and I can't wait to read more.
Gotta sign off for now and get a couple hours of sleep before work. Keep it up, Py -- this is some fun stuff.
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Post by PyleansDontLeaveMe on Dec 30, 2004 10:49:50 GMT -5
You're a world of not wrong about there being too much space between songs one and two. The problem is I kept having to add setup things in that space for structural reasons. I'll try to restruc. to tighten that up a bit though because your very right, it is too long of a gap. You're amazingly close on a couple of points that I won't reveal just yet, but keep an eye out for that The setup of the mystery person Sam is talking to is fairly important in the scheme of things. Hadn't realized how similar it is to the PA setup though. Need to rethink. Also, I totally agree that at this point Amy and Sam kind of go from zero to love with no transition. Again- a rethink... See, this is why I love you guys... |
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Post by tjaman on Dec 30, 2004 10:53:45 GMT -5
There's plenty of good there to build on -- you'll think of something.
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Post by PyleansDontLeaveMe on Dec 30, 2004 10:55:44 GMT -5
It was a switch in thematic priorities. Originally the piece was about something quite different back when the world was shiny and new...
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