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Post by Dr. Purple Goddess on Aug 20, 2005 20:16:53 GMT -5
Yeah, I couldn't think of a cute lil name for this thread.
Anyway, I wanted to create it because I thought it would be an interesting topic for our forum. I've found a few "interesting" articles I'd like to post. I think they're all written by the same person...I won't cite them per se, but there is a web link on each one so I guess I'll include those and call it cited.
More importantly, I'd like to get feedback on them. I have a few things to say about them but I'd like to hear what you have to say about them first. So, here goes ;D
Oh and try to ignore the fact that he's trying to sell this stuff to you.
I get a lot of guys who write in to ask me how to behave around women. Many of those questions focus on the first meeting or the first date.
I thought I'd devote one entire newsletter to a concept that I feel is VITAL to understand if you're wondering how to behave around a woman you've just met.
A MISTAKE ALMOST EVERY GUY MAKES
I've noticed a KEY difference between the way men and women act when they meet a "potential mate".
Women usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:
"You're interesting to me. I'd like to get to know you better, and we can see where this goes."
Men usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:
"I am so interested in you that I'm nervous. In fact, I'm already thinking of you as a potential girlfriend or wife... or at least a one-night stand."
In other words, women are usually casual and laid-back when they're first meeting a guy...
But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a POTENTIAL WIFE.
As you can imagine, this creates a lot of tension and pressure.
And I'm not talking about the GOOD kind, either.
I'm talking about the kind that makes men shiver and shake with nervousness, and women feel uncomfortable because the MAN is acting uncomfortable.
I KNOW that you can relate to this in some way.
THE ANSWER
The simple solution to this is...
DON'T DO IT.
If you start acting all freakish and nervous when you're talking to a woman, you're probably going to screw things up before they've even had a chance to get started.
Treating a woman that you've just met as if she very well could be the love of your life is something you should NEVER do.
Instead, take a very different approach.
My favorite is to ASSUME that every woman has SOMETHING that's going to annoy me, bother me, or SCREW UP HER CHANCES with me.
The MAIN reason that I do this...
SURPRISE...
IS THAT IT'S TRUE!
Duh.
The fact is that MOST women are NOT compatible "long term" with most men. In other words, if you do get into a long-term relationship with a particular woman, the chances are that she's going to have things about her that you don't like.
One of my favorite cocky & Funny themes to follow is, "You're screwing up your chances with me".
Let's say I'm walking down the street with a girl to have a cup of tea. Let's assume that she and I just met the night before, I got her number, and now we're walking from my place to tea.
On the way in the door to the coffee shop, she trips over the doorway.
I might look at her, shake my head in an "overly dramatic fake annoyed" way, and say, "This relationship just isn't going to work".
Then, let's say fifteen minutes later, she spills her tea on the table and herself.
I'll shake my head again and say, "What did I tell you about this kind of behavior?".
In other words, I'm communicating the very OPPOSITE of "You're a potential wife". I'm saying, "I'm so comfortable around you that I can even make fun of you without caring what you think of me".
Does this sound a little crazy?
Good. It should.
But trust me.
If you spend a couple of hours having regular, normal conversation... being cocky & Funny, enjoying yourself, NOT trying to impress her, and generally demonstrating that you could care less how things turn out, you'll be FAR more likely to take things further than if you act as if she might be the love of your life and you wind up acting so nervous, stilted, and DUMB that she runs away.
So here it is again... one thing that most guys who are unsuccessful with women do that screws things up... one thing to AVOID:
DON'T TREAT A WOMAN YOU'VE JUST MET AS IF SHE'S A POTENTIAL FUTURE WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND.
Instead, lean back. Be cool. Make jokes about her screwing up her chances with you. Tell her that she's a nice friend. Assume that she has qualities that are going to annoy you, then point them out (in a cocky & Funny way, of course).
Don't lose your composure. It can be fatal if you do.
Another note:
Most guys don't "get" women.
And, unfortunately, most guys look for tricks and "pick up lines" when it comes time to LEARN how to meet women.
They don't realize that all the tricks in the world aren't going to help them if they don't UNDERSTAND what's "going on".
That's where my Advanced Dating Techniques Program comes in...
The first segment of the program is entirely focused on your "Inner Game". In other words, it's focused on helping you "get" what's going on.
This program goes into DEPTH about all aspects of psychology and behavior of men and women... and teaches you from the ground up. You must get rid of some of your bad programming before you can get GOOD programming.
In other words, I KNOW that you need to learn how to NOT do things like treating a woman as if she might be your future wife... and I teach you how to avoid these big mistakes... and there are many.
Of course, I also teach a TON of specific techniques. Hundreds, in fact.
You will get over 12 solid hours of digital video and/or audio of me teaching everything from the ground up on how to take things all the way from beginning, to end... from the first meeting, through the first date... all the way to the bedroom, and beyond.
You'll learn how to overcome your limiting beliefs about women... how to eliminate your fears of talking to women... how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you, even if you don't have money or looks, etc.
In other words, it's a complete system.
You'll learn everything you need to know in order to start meeting and dating more women IMMEDIATELY.
All the details, and some educational preview video clips of the program are here:
www.DoubleYourDatingProducts.com/e/11824/AdvancedSeries/
One of the things I find is that guys who make mistakes on first dates... and in first meetings... feel like they don't know what to SAY... or how to ACT.
If you find yourself in this place often, then I recommend you get your hands on a copy of my cocky Comedy DVD/CD program.
I can remember when I really had no idea how to act, or what to say on a first date with a woman...
But once I learned how to use and master this fun technique I call "cocky & Funny", everything changed.
Instead of trying to figure out what to talk about, I now had a MILLION things to talk about... and all of them were FUN.
Do yourself a big favor, and go watch the video clips on my cocky Comedy website. You'll learn a bunch of great stuff just watching the previews... and I think it will convince you to make the investment in yourself. Go check the video clips out here:
www.DoubleYourDatingProducts.com/e/11824/cockyComedy/
...and if you STILL haven't downloaded your copy of my original eBook "Double Your Dating", then you need to do that now. It's jam packed with dozens and dozens of my personal techniques for meeting and dating women, and it comes with THREE great bonus booklets that aren't available anywhere else. And right now you can download it FREE, and try it out before you buy. Go download it here:
I'll post the other ones after we've talked about this one a bit...unless no one cares in which case, I'll post the other ones later anyway lol
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Post by quantumcat on Aug 21, 2005 3:32:45 GMT -5
The author was right about not getting nervous,jumping the gun, accepting that the other party is fallible/human,(the old 'picture your audience in their underwear ploy) and being funny and/or irreverant if that's your style.
I think the instructions break down when they seem to ignore that people on both sides get nervous.
I think it encourages people to be glib and phoney at the expense of being real with the other party.
Another problem I have is,if people assume that little gibes at the beginning of a relationship are part of a courting ploy rather than an indication of the persons' true character,how long will it take to detect the fools who aren't kidding when they imply that their dates are too substandard to sustain their interest?
The future abuser will swear he or she was 'just kidding',suggest that the victim was oversensitive and vow never to act inappropriately again.
Until the next time......
( which will be perfectly justified,of course)
The most vulnerable targets will be the ones least likely to say:
"You're absolutely right.
You can't afford to be seen with someone who trips and spills tea.
It's a good thing we discovered the problem now before we took things any further.
Here's my half of the tab and the cleaning bills.
Thanks for your time and I hope you find the kind of partner you deserve."
I'd hate for a nice,shy fellow to swagger his way out of what could be a beautiful friendship.
I'd also hate for some nice,shy person of either sex to fail at finding a "cocky,funny" way of telling a loser to go to Hell.
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Post by Dr. Purple Goddess on Aug 21, 2005 10:35:51 GMT -5
I was hoping for such reaction to this. I can't believe this guy is actually selling this crap to guys. Obviously he lives in this partitioned little world. The really messed up thing is that he thinks these behaviors are the most likely and are normal to men and women. Maybe those things are exaggerated in certain areas of the country or world.
Oh, and don't forget, this idiot is most likely ONLY talking about "socially perceived hot chics" Well, I'm gunna post the other article later today. I just got a kick out of them. I think it gives at least a little insight into what guys deem important when they aren't successful in finding relationships etc.
Well, obviously this guy is pandering to insecurities, but it only gets curiouser and curiouser. hehe
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Post by Insane Troll Logic on Aug 21, 2005 12:08:08 GMT -5
I think that this guy is talking crap.
He's extremely over-simplifying human nature, and putting all women into one mindset, and all men into another. With him, it's all black and white, and no grey shades.
With both men and women, insecurity takes many forms - sure, he's identified one possible reason - but that's the point - possible - and saying that "women think this way...men think that way...." is, to be frank, a load of old crap.
people are more complicated than that.
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Post by Aunt Arlene on Aug 21, 2005 12:20:01 GMT -5
If I got a remark like that from a date after I tripped I would have to try very hard not to roll my eyes. It sounds like a good way to piss off a lot of women in a short period of time.
There are certain people (not necessarily dates) that I know I can immediately joke around with, but they are few and far between. Most of the time you have to really get to know someone before you can kid around like that. Even then it's not always going to be appreciated.
I have one boss at work who always expects that people are talking about him behind his back. If I tried to make a joke about something, anything really, he'd probably reply with "what do you mean by that?"
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Post by Dr. Purple Goddess on Aug 21, 2005 12:51:24 GMT -5
Ok, we know this guy is full of skite...and is over generalizing to the point of stupidity.... I have a problem with anything that promotes playing games. But, he has other things to say of which I will now post. Keep in mind...I just found this all quite curious because I think you can plainly tell it's from his perspective. That right there tells me it's not universal or applicable in all cases...but it was interesting to see one man's perspective about the dating jungle. I have tried to look at this stuff from an objective point of view....for the sake of argument...but, it's hard to do....anyway, now for the next installment.....
UNMASKING THE BIGGEST TRUTH OF ALL ABOUT WOMEN
Get ready for the MOTHERLOAD of truths when it comes to understanding the "chemistry" that a woman feels for a man.
1. The REALITY is, that as a result of culture, (and possibly biology) men and women are DIFFERENT in what gives them SELF-ESTEEM.
2. Our desire for SELF-ESTEEM is by FAR (I'm talking LIGHT YEARS) our greatest psychological desire, and is the REAL root behind ANY attraction to ANYTHING. (aside from wanting food, water, air, shelter, etc. for physical survival).
3. Men and women have been brainwashed to believe that self-worth is REALLY based on getting the sexual interest of at least one person of the opposite gender who society considers the "best". That is why we tend to go to EXTREMES to accomplish this, even though it makes no sense, as no matter WHAT anyone else thinks of you, you are still the exact same YOU.
These three points are KEY to understanding how to attract any woman, as you will soon see.
Sure, there MIGHT be exceptions to every rule, just like the ONE in a MILLION woman who becomes a fighter pilot. But that's not MOST women.
I could go on for hours and hours about all the important differences between men and women, such as how women tend to focus on emotions in general, and how this gets back to how men must work to create attraction, but for this newsletter I want to focus on a REAL BIG ONE.
The MOTHER principle, so to speak, which is:
THE SOCIALLY DEFINED CHARACTERISITIC OF SUPERIORITY FOR MEN (which is what women are attracted to in men) vs. THE SOCIALLY DEFINED CHARACTERISTIC OF SUPERIORITY FOR WOMEN (which is what men are attracted to in women)
For most men, they want a SEXY LOOKING woman who will be GOOD to them. A woman who is the CURRENT version of sexy.
A woman's LOOKS are basically her social value. Sad to say, but true for the most part, not including her immediate family and friends.
Men want this from women so that men can feel GOOD about themselves.
Men want this because they are BRAINWASHED. Of course they are brainwashed. You didn't know this?
Hey, look at the women considered sexy a few generations ago. Look at the women considered sexy at the time of the Titanic. And go back even further.
Our BIOLOGY cannot POSSIBLY have changed in SO LITTLE TIME. Evolution does not work that fast. (Evolution DOES have a DIFFERENT role in attraction, but this is another topic.)
It's PURE CULTURAL BRAINWASHING. The women that were sexy THEN would NEVER be featured on a fashion runway today or in a magazine today. So you see, BASICALLY, men have been brainwashed to BELIEVE that SELF-WORTH comes from having the exclusive sexual interest of a woman who resembles the general trend of what is considered a SEXY LOOKING WOMAN.
That is what is considered the PROOF to a guy that he is "superior" and that he is "allowed" to then feel self-esteem.
That's what the CULTURE keeps on telling men.
It's got NOTHING to do with sex. It's got EVERYTHING to do with validation and the need to achieve self-esteem.
If it was just about sex, then guys could be happy with sexing any woman. If it was just about LOVE, then guys would be happy with the love of a culturally-considered "ugly" woman.
So you see it's not about love. And it's NOT about sex.
It IS about validation.
Guys are brought up to believe that the SUPERIOR guy gets a CULTURALLY LABELED SEXY woman.
So if he DOESN'T get this woman, or women, (most guys just want the one sexy woman but some want more) he feels INFERIOR.
*Kaput* to his self-esteem.
He will do ANYTHING to get this kind of sexy woman, because his SELF-WORTH has been made to DEPEND on it.
Isn't it freaky to realize what is going on here? Guys killing themselves over an ARBITRARY thing.
I laugh REALLY HARD when I hear about guys who keep on saying that the reason they pick up many girls is because of "evolution and survival through having children", because they need to "mate with the most attractive members of the opposite sex". Meanwhile, it's very possible the children of these currently sexy women might just be UNSEXY if more "statuesque" or "corpulent" or whatever looks come in style, or vice versa. And it's not like they usually even HAVE kids either.
From their arguments, you would think they would be TRYING to pop out kids from their women like crazy. Meanwhile, having kids is the LAST thing on their mind.
So the whole "immortality is the motivation" argument coming from THEM is a complete farce. These women they choose are often also party girl club types and not the kind who are ready to settle down for a family, so that makes their argument even WORSE.
So let's get back to the REAL MOTIVATIONS for why men and women are most attracted to specific members of the opposite gender.
Understanding this requires understanding the DIFFERENCE here in how men are socialized vs. how women are socialized.
So for MEN it works like this:
MEN are brainwashed to want a woman who is socially labeled as HOT.
But it has NOTHING to do with sex or love. It has EVERYTHING to do with SELF-WORTH.
And once SELF-WORTH is brought into the equation, you could attach self worth to ANYTHING. Including to shape what you consider sexy.
Because SELF-WORTH is EVERYTHING.
You can AFFECT an entire NATION by raising their feelings of SELF-WORTH. It is pretty common knowledge now that Ronald Reagan's economic policies of trickle down wealth from the rich to the poor were a FAILURE, but yet the poor class LOVED him still because he RAISED the spirits of the NATION. He made an entire country feel PROUD.
People want to feel good about themselves, period. Not just good folks. Even criminals try to RATIONALIZE to themselves why they are actually worthy people.
Marketing is ALL ABOUT attaching feelings of SELF-WORTH to arbitrary products/services.
Self-worth is so powerful that if our culture decided that WOMEN with more fat on them were sexier and that superior guys should get these women, I SWEAR that slim women would lose all appeal. Actually, this DID happen already in history.
Why am I harping on about this? Because I want you to see how ridiculous we are before you start laughing at how ridiculous women are, as I am about to now explain:
CULTURALLY, women are brainwashed to believe that self-worth requires getting a MAN that society deems is SUPERIOR. And society basically says that for men, looks are PART of his social status, but not even CLOSE to being the whole thing as it is for women.
Now, don't get me WRONG here. Women are NOT stupid. It's not like they can't RECOGNIZE a "good-looking" guy, it's just that they don't CARE that much about it. It's not their PRIORITY in life.
This does NOT make women more moral at all. It just means that women have something ELSE that they care about as their PRIORITY:
STATUS/IMAGE/HOW SOCIETY THINKS OF THEM.
All these things are basically the same thing.
This is why women are so INSANELY uptight about what people think of them. I can remember every girl I've ever known or dated, they were ALL like this. The only difference is that the GOOD girls had some LOGIC to counter this emotion, whereas most girls just give in to the emotional pressure.
Status is only PARTLY about your job or career. Just like it's only PARTLY about looks. It's not the whole picture at all.
There are many elements to status, to superiority, and that is why you have more flexibility in case you are not super strong in one of those areas, you can make it up in other areas as long as you are not seriously deficient in most of those areas.
But let's just not be bulls**tters here and acknowledge that if your job IS high status in society, you will pull girls' INITIAL INTEREST EASILY as long as you don't seem to be TRYING to impress them.
You real challenge then will be to NOT SCREW IT UP with LOW STATUS BEHAVIOURS that make her FEEL that you are LOW STATUS.
In fact, many of the supposed pick up artists use a TON of social status crutches to help pick up girls that their clients often have NO ACCESS TO.
It's INSANE to NOT ACKNOWLEDGE THIS: Whether it's the illusion that the guy OWNS A MANSION, HAS A FERRARI, is a WORLD REKNOWNED JOURNALIST, or claims to be a WORLD REKNOWNED PERFORMER, etc. etc.
Having that stuff definitely opens the door initially if framed properly, i.e. that they are not trying to impress the woman. You have to understand that for women, they have been brainwashed to believe that their own SELF-WORTH comes from getting a HIGH STATUS GUY, which does NOT mean a male model or anything close to that. It means that he exhibits as many traits as possible that are HIGH STATUS, such as:
Authority over others. Respect from others. Prestige. Emotionally in control. Not an ass-kisser. A confident style sense of humor. An understanding about women. The ability to successfully socialize.
And yes, having wealth is there too, but again if uses his finances to try to BUY women, he will be more inferior than a guy who doesn't own a bank.
And there are a TON of other things that are beyond the scope of this newsletter.
Women WANT THIS from a man. They WANT this because it makes THEM feel good.
Women have been brainwashed to believe that getting THIS is PROOF of THEIR worth.
This is just as insane of course as men thinking that if a woman who meets the culture's definition of sexy LIKES him, then HE is somehow WORTHY, that he has value.
What does a WOMAN feeling something for YOU have to do with what YOU think of yourself??
NOTHING, that's what. You are you no matter what, no woman can change that, so why does some external opinion suddenly make you feel GOOD or feel BAD??
But yet, for 99 percent of men, it DOES. Because the brainwashing process is STRONG. And it's JUST as strong for WOMEN.
I don't even think that the reason most guys want a "sexy" woman is for sex. I think most guys would rather KNOW that a woman who was "attractive" WANTED THEM, even if it meant NOT having sex, rather than HAVING SEX with a woman who was "not attractive".
It just FEELS good for him to have that THOUGHT.
The guy feels like a WINNER because she WANTS him.
Same thing with women. They get the HIGH STATUS guy, and they feel like a WINNER.
So there are two levels with women:
First of all, women really aren't SWEPT UP as much by a guy's looks as guys tend to be by women who are attractive, although of course that doesn't mean that women can't appreciate or enjoy a guy's good looks.
But if he is LOW STATUS, they feel like something is WRONG with the picture. They can't enjoy it. Now, don't get me wrong, LOOKS can CONTRIBUTE to status, for sure. Our society is not like it thinks guys who look good are worth NOTHING.
Looks COUNT, but it's not the same as with women. If THAT were true, a good looking guy would just say hi to a woman who was attractive and she would try to get him into a long term relationship. If he ONLY has looks, he's not such a big deal to her. He doesn't make her feel that good.
Often, what a woman will do is try to GET the guy to become high status if he is already really good looking, because she knows that if he just got the status, then she would have it ALL. So she will try to do all kinds of things to get him to become higher in social status.
But a guy, he only cares about her looks and that she should want to be with him. He couldn't care about anything else regarding her. HER status COMES from her looks, and the fact SHE wants to be with him makes HIM feel high status, or superior.
If you start to think about it, you'll realize that this explains a LOT of things.
You have to VERY CAREFUL THOUGH, because some guys will think this is about having the big bucks. And believe me, I am not just trying to make guys who may not be rich feel good, it's just that the truth is being rich is HELPFUL AND GOOD but it's NOT necessary and if you DON'T have the HIGH STATUS behaviours and approach to living, you will get SMOKED by women.
Let me give you a famous example: One of the most famous women of all time, Jackie Kennedy, the wife of JFK, got remarried to a TYCOON name Aristotle Onassis. This was an incredibly powerful, and charismatic man, who said "If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning". He did not resemble a male model in any way, and clearly a woman of Jacqueline Lee Bouvier Kennedy's beauty and social status could choose from a ton of wealthy, stereotypically good looking guys who would probably kiss her butt. Yet she chose this guy.
This guy was more than wealthy, he was a CHARISMATIC powerhouse of super high status socially.
Yet, it seems, that he somehow tolerated a lot of b.s. from her. I read a biography of him, where he said something along the lines of all he wanted was to spend some more time with her, but she was usually working a continent away from him and also she went on crazy buying sprees. He didn't even care about the buying sprees, he could afford it, but not even spending any time with him?? So you see being rich and powerful to the extreme is still no guarantee of anything.
And I know PLENTY of very wealthy guys who can attest to the fact that wealth is not the end all and be all to making women treat you well.
In fact, if you are not careful, and if you don't know how to put the RIGHT PSYCHOLOGICAL frame on the fact you have wealth, you are just going to be taken to the cleaners.
What having wealth, or having ANY or ALL the signs of HIGH STATUS does, is OPEN THE DOORS to women being VERY RECEPTIVE to your advances.
But if you don't have the REST of the behaviours down TIGHT, to the point where they are INSTINCTIVE and natural from repetition, you will LOSE her FAST.
High status is only partially about financial stuff, it's even MORE about the FEELING you give her that YOU are of HIGH WORTH, that YOU ARE DESIRABLE. And giving her those feelings actually has nothing to do with being rich.
And the way to make her FEEL all these feelings that YOU are SUPERIOR in status to HER involves a ton of OTHER things as well, like the way you carry yourself, the way you approach women, the women you surround yourself with, the confidence you exude, the way you convey dominance, the confident sense of humor you posess, the way you handle challenges from her and from anyone else, and much, much more.
It ALL GOES BACK TO BEING THE SUPERIOR GUY AS DEFINED BY SOCIETY, ESPECIALLY BY WOMEN.
The IRONY of it all is that guys spend so much energy trying to PLEASE women, that they DRAIN themselves of energy that could be getting them AHEAD in life and RAISING THEIR SOCIAL STATUS in both "tangible" ways but ALSO in CRUCIAL intangible ways in their "inner game".
You see, by FOCUSING so much on women, it's hard to NOT make women "the prize" in your mind. And this SHOWS in your demeanor, and women sense that you are thus NOT SUPERIOR, they sense you are INFERIOR. So many guys try to get a woman to BELIEVE in them, so that they can get the SELF-ESTEEM they need to succeed in life.
I used to be like this, and I all I got was MASSIVE ABUSE from women. I wanted a woman to believe in me so badly, I knew I had so much to offer in so many different creative endeavors, but I was too depressed to unleash my power and potential because I wanted approval from an attractive woman. And of course, that never works, that just pushes women away because it looks needy. LOW STATUS, INFERIOR.
Until I got to the point that I stopped WANTING affection from women that were attractive, because I actually believed that attractive women were NOT affectionate. So I started treating them the way I felt about them, which was that they weren't very good people. I didn't smile at them, I didn't try to make them feel good, I didn't do anything nice for them, I just basically tried to give them a hard time, teasing them the way I would to someone I didn't think was above me. I would stop asking women things, and just start basically being more in control, like telling a woman to come with me instead of asking her, etc etc.
And it was NUTS. Because women started responding like CRAZY. I would tell women on the first date that I thought things wouldn't work out because her personality wasn't right for me (and I meant it) and I would get them protesting that I should call them.
I start focusing more on my work then women, and I got a great job and got promoted FAST.
All this stuff that I was learning REALLY pissed me off, because it confirmed what every jerk had told me since day one, that women who are attractive have to be treated badly. I HATED IT.
I wanted the DISNEY ROMANCE!!!!!! I wanted the NICE girl who liked me because of all the GOOD things about me.
The fact that I cared about the homeless, etc. Nada. It would never happen that way.
Women want the SUPERIOR guy, and that's it.
It was around that time that I started to make this whole thing the focus of my life, and I learned how to be successful with women without being abusive.
But one thing I learned then was that you should NEVER wait for a woman to make you feel good before living your dreams and ambitions. Go after your goals, and women will follow like MAD. TRUST ME. YOU ARE THE MAN, YOU ARE SUPERIOR, NOT HER.
So LIVE that way. The truth is regardless of how women protest, they aren't attracted to men any other way.
You have to remember, it's a DIFFERENT perspective that women have of what is desirable in a man, than what MEN want in a woman. For all kinds of reasons.
As a GUY, you have to remember that women are NOT the same and so you have to know what WOMEN consider worthy, not what YOU would think women want.
And if you would like to get the very best education on this topic, I recommend you take advantage of my materials and services:
The most INTENSE training you can get is my LIVE ONE ON ONE BOOTCAMP. This is where for three days and nights straight, I will IMMERSE you in the most advanced training on EARTH on this topic. It will include tons of LIVE demonstrations on real women right in front of your eyes. And you will learn from a play by play post-game session analysis every night of everything that happened that day. And you will be approaching women with me guiding you to keep you on track. You will be able to ask me all the questions that have been on your mind and have them answered as well as DEMONSTRATED in real life.
This program has attracted clients from literally ALL OVER THE WORLD. It has been an honour for me meet these exceptional individuals who have committed themselves to excellence in EVERY area of their lives, and have done the same for this critical area that affects EVERY man. And I look forward to meeting you one day soon as well.
To find out more, go to: www.thedatingwizard.com/bootcamp.htm
I had some mixed reactions to this article actually. Definately interested in hearing what you guys think ;D
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Post by Charisma69 on Aug 21, 2005 14:04:36 GMT -5
Every so often the guy almost has an intelligent thought. Almost. But 99% of what he says is crap.
I think there are some girls that are like what he says but that's not the majority. Not by any means at all.
I wonder how much money this guy is making off of loser guys who actually believe his crap?
So, I guess I'm supposed to be wanting a High Status guy that makes me feel good about myself? Funny, I thought I should want a guy who I actually like. I guess I've been doing things wrong all this time.
That guy is a moron!
He does have a little bit of a point about some people liking you better if you treat them like crap. I've known a few guys who showed lots more interest in me when I was an @ss to them - which I found to be disturbing or humorous, depending on the situation. In the case of my ex-boyfriend it was kinda funny because anytime I wasn't interested in him because I got tired of his crap he suddenly became extremely interested in me. It didn't work out though - he was a cheating loser.
Which just goes to show that treating someone like crap - on either side - doesn't actually work in the long run. People don't like getting treated like that, well most of them don't. Some people do seem to get off on that which I find to be insanely weird.
That guy is making broad generalizations for both genders based on a handful of personality types. I can't believe people actually believe this stuff.
If you want to be successful with anyone just be yourself. Act like you do have some worth to yourself - but don't go treating anyone like they're beneath you. Just relax. And don't be in such a hurry to form a relationship. These things take time. Everyone needs to go at there own pace.
Myself, I like to go a bit slower and get to know somebody first. Moving too fast kinda freaks me out and ends up sending me in the other direction. If I feel backed into a corner I'm going to try getting out. My relationships started out as friendship first and had a natural progression from there. We weren't dating so we had none of that awkward dating crap.
I just hate it when a guy is already talking about marriage and you haven't even agreed to go out with him yet. You don't even know if you like him that well or not and he's already talking about getting serious.
Like this one guy that wanted to date me a few years ago. My ex-boyfriend was still living here but we were split up at the time. He stayed in the guest bedroom. Anyway, this one guy who was a friend of my ex-husband wanted to go out with me. I've known him for years, he actually liked me before I even dated my ex-husband. Anyway, before we'd even gone out on a date he started asking me when my ex-boyfriend was moving out.
That was none of his business. We weren't dating yet and I feel he had no right to bother me about that. So, we never dated. He blew it. He was already wanting to be serious before we'd even gone on a date.
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Post by quantumcat on Aug 21, 2005 18:06:04 GMT -5
The guy comes off a little better here. I think he's right about self esteem. One thing he hasn't mentioned yet is how people of both sexes will ignore/ sabotage potential good relationships if they don't believe the 'catch' could ever really want them. The friendships turn into better love relationships because folks bypass the game playing. A friend,like a high status person, makes you feel important because he doesn't _have_ to love you. He chooses to be around you because he enjoys who you really are-not your facade. This is why people are reluctant to endanger a good friendship by turning it into a less-than- stellar romance. But being wanted by a high status person, (as friend or lover) does convey status. The whole "I could have anyone. I would feel priviliged to have you" bit.... That attention is flattering. If we believe it to be genuine,we feel better about ourselves. We become more confident. Have you ever noticed it's easier to attract people after you (and they) know you're already wanted? Look at Fred and Willow. They were always bright,beautiful,decent women. They started having to issue numbers to the dates waiting in line after that first significant person recognized their worth and made them see their own specialness. They were then able to trigger that same phenomenon in the next person. .One thing I've had to fight in my relationship with my husband is the sense that he was a 'trophy' . He has a rugged,Papa Hemingway look. He's amazingly intelligent. (We're talking as bright as YOU guys intelligent.) He's hardworking and creative. He's funny and has more integrity than the law allows. He's been in the military,worked for the IRS and run a successful business. The guy is a mench and couldn't hide it if the fate of the world depended on it. My biggest problem with being involved with him was being able to accept that we *both* lucked out by finding each other and that I hadn't included him in my life to validate me or impress the neighbors. My second biggest problem is that he has absolutely no need or desire to impress anybody. He's a curmudgeon who refuses to understand why one has to change out of the cutoffs with the splotches of acrylic paint,the mustard stains and the cigarette burns if we're going to the symphony. I want him to look as if he could outthink and outdo all the big shots who give him directions to the homeless shelters when he's standing outside the state archives. He cleans up right good. It's more important that he be nice than look nice but I admit I want people to know he's special at first glance. Giles good. Olaf bad. I'd prefer a consort who's bright and stalwart in private and a disaster in public than the other way around but I agree that my cultural brainwashing has me wishing we appeared more like Jean and Lionel of "As Time goes By" and less like Archie and Edith Bunker. (I'm *such* a snob!)
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Post by GreatMuppetyNick on Aug 21, 2005 21:40:25 GMT -5
A MISTAKE ALMOST EVERY GUY MAKES
I've noticed a KEY difference between the way men and women act when they meet a "potential mate".
Women usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:
"You're interesting to me. I'd like to get to know you better, and we can see where this goes."
Men usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:
"I am so interested in you that I'm nervous. In fact, I'm already thinking of you as a potential girlfriend or wife... or at least a one-night stand."
In other words, women are usually casual and laid-back when they're first meeting a guy...
But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a POTENTIAL WIFE.
As you can imagine, this creates a lot of tension and pressure.
And I'm not talking about the GOOD kind, either.
I'm talking about the kind that makes men shiver and shake with nervousness, and women feel uncomfortable because the MAN is acting uncomfortable.
I KNOW that you can relate to this in some way.
THE ANSWER
The simple solution to this is...
DON'T DO IT.
If you start acting all freakish and nervous when you're talking to a woman, you're probably going to screw things up before they've even had a chance to get started.
That was some good point. And then, the author proceeded to "sell" his concept. Eh. I actually thought someone had the answers to the secrets of dating.
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Post by quantumcat on Aug 21, 2005 23:44:48 GMT -5
yeah,right...
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Post by PyleansDontLeaveMe on Aug 23, 2005 13:36:44 GMT -5
I promise that I absolutely never look at women I meet as a future girlfriend and/or wife.
ever.
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Post by tjaman on Aug 23, 2005 16:56:41 GMT -5
It's ... very naive of me that I believe women one is meeting want to feel special, yes?
I just get the sense that constant glances over her shoulder at whoever else is in the bar are at least somewhat offputting. i.e.: "Yeah, I'm talking to you ... now ... until, y'know, someone better comes in."
Is that just wrong? Or do women (y'know, "women" as an Undifferentiated Monolithic Abstract Construct) just anticipate that the UMAC"men" are just going to be distracted by shiny/jiggly things all night anyway so the meeting of them is impossible and ultimately pointless?
People do manage to meet other people, of course ...
... so what the heck is up with that?
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Post by Charisma69 on Aug 23, 2005 20:16:04 GMT -5
It's ... very naive of me that I believe women one is meeting want to feel special, yes?
I just get the sense that constant glances over her shoulder at whoever else is in the bar are at least somewhat offputting. i.e.: "Yeah, I'm talking to you ... now ... until, y'know, someone better comes in."
Is that just wrong? Or do women (y'know, "women" as an Undifferentiated Monolithic Abstract Construct) just anticipate that the UMAC"men" are just going to be distracted by shiny/jiggly things all night anyway so the meeting of them is impossible and ultimately pointless?
People do manage to meet other people, of course ...
... so what the heck is up with that?
It depends on what your association is with the guy. If he's just a friend of yours then it's okay for him to be checking out other girls. I sometimes even join in on the commenting.
If you're together though it's not so much fun. Unless you're talking about celebrities or people you'll never actually get together with.
William Floyd and I used to have a system when he still worked at our store where I'd indicate to him that a hot girl was in drive-thru - descreetly of course- so he could check her out.
I explained the concept of to him. I miss working with him. It's a pain in the @ss babysitting the new managers all the time. It'd be nice to be working with people who know what they're doing again.
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Post by AlyWay on Aug 24, 2005 14:19:26 GMT -5
Is the author married or otherwise involved? I have only read the first post and your replies. I do have to say that upon meeting someone for the first time and having them make some snide comment on how I just tripped would probably land them in a world of hurt in my good graces. Why bother meeting a person for a second time if all you are going to do is think, "why the hell am i even sitting here with this person who annoys me so much?" Crap just crap if you ask me. On to the second article.
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Post by quantumcat on Aug 24, 2005 14:30:03 GMT -5
spk1903 has such a good b.s. detector!
(man,are your kids in trouble!)
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