Child Molesters and People who speak in cinemas

[GreatMuppetyNick]

So, I was having a casual conversation with her, when this little bit came up. Her mother doesn't think she and him would last.

My heart did a little dance of joy.

I am SO going to the special hell.

[GreatMuppetyNick]

Ok, I think with this post, I'm bringing vague-ness to a new level. Some backstory is probably needed. I'll try to be brief.


8 months back, I got a new colleague. She sits right next to me.

We talk, I enjoy her company. I got interested.

I told her. She doesn't feel the same way.

I, did what most guys do. I tried to gloss it over. Said I'd still like to be friends.

And we are. We're pretty close, and she tells me all kinds of stuff.

Times passes. I notice she seems interested to this other guy, who is also a colleague.

He's a pretty cool guy, so I told her to go for it. She does. And she's pretty happy about it.

I'm fine with her. I'm fine with him. I'm fine with the idea of them being together. If it makes her happy ...

But everytime I hear her talk about him, or when he comes over to our cubicle to "chat".... Rage rising ..... anger overpowering ... all that junk.

Which leads to now ...

[dEz]

Yeah ... that's a hard place to be in.

One thing to remember is that you cant make someone fall in love with you. But saying that doesn't make it easy to accept and release your feelings either. I mean, "we" know it but "we" still sit in that place thinking maybe "we" could be doing something, anything, to make things change ... it just doesn't work like that.

Truth is, nobody can tell what 1 think trips up a person ... causes them to fall in love with another. There is no special recipe to deliver. The best advise is to always be yourself. She may not feel that way now ... but she could in time. Or she may not have been the right one after all. But at least she got to meet the real you in the process.

Rght now ... you have to determine if it's better to be her close confidant or better to shut that down and possibly lose contact with. It sounds painful for you to be with her. So I worry a little about that for you.

Personally, if she cant see what a hell of a guy you are then she's missing out.

[dEz]

But I am going to tell you something I have noticed over the years ... confidence goes a long, long way in how you are viewed.

Projecting an outwardly confidence and sureness about yourself, and in the things you do, tends to make people who are happier and somewhat more successful.

It's difficult for me to put it down in text content, but try to keep your confidence level up.

BIG HUGS!

[quantumcat]

I agree with dez.

Although sometimes good things (and people) just don't mesh.

Like filet mignon and hot fudge sauce....

As I indicated before,if a guy is going to be Mr. Right-Now or Mr. Will-do-in-a-Pinch,
then it's o.k. if he's not A-1 friend material.

You can enjoy his company but if things fizzle,there's nothing lost.

If you have an outstanding friend,that is thisclose to being worth the same as a lifelong spouse.

One could make a case that it's better.

(A superior spouse aspires to be a really good friend.)

Either way,you're talking soulmates.

A smart person just doesn't want to risk losing a great friendship by turning it into
something it wasn't meant to be.

That just undervalues both kinds of relationships.

Apparently,she's picked you to have the permanent,no-holds-barred type relationship.

He's got the heavily edited,superficial,temporary one.

You don't invest that much,you don't lose that much.

No wonder her mom thinks it won't last.

If either of them or both are sensing that this is an ephemeral fling,they're
going to keep it shallow enough to insure it will be.

That's fine,in its place.

But,if you know you have a really special guy you can mind-meld with,you don't
risk him on anything less than forever.

The fact you may have the better deal doesn't stop the pain.

Maybe you'd feel better hanging around him instead of her or giving them both some
distance.

The LAST thing you want is to make yourself miserable and start hating them and yourself.

None of you is 'flawed' and that's why you aren't with her.

It's just not playing out that way.

Not your fault or theirs.

So stay close if you can but if it hurts,back off.

Let your heart heal and your rage cool before you subject yourself to them.

(What's worse? Seeing them happy or miserable? Yechhhh....)

Fate did NOT put them together to cheat you out of a loving relationship.

This is the time of life when most of the people you find interesting are near-misses.

That can be incredibly frustrating.

It's a lot more comfortable pairing off with someone if you're not in the market till you
find your perfect match.

(Kind of like finding a house,car,pet or pair of shoes.... Necessity may be the mother of Invention
but Desperation is the mother of Disaster.)

Hide all maudlin or violent media,don't buy junk food and don't cut your own hair.

Do NOT join the Foreign Legion!

Trust me,ill-advised reactions to unrequited love last longer than pee stains on white carpet.

Do NOT turn them into villains and do NOT beat yourself up over loving unwisely but too well.

Think of Garth Brook's 'Unanswered Prayers.'

Think of this as the Kristy Swanson version of Buffy.

Think of this girl as maybe being the Riff Regan to your Nicholas Brendon.

Close but no cigar.

Yeah,yeah,maybe it was a tragedy that "Everyone Comes to Rick's" wasn't made with
George Raft and Anne Sheridan.

But,then again,maybe Fate was wise to hold things up till we got "Casablanca" with that
guy who played 'Dr.X' and the Swedish chick.

As hard as it might feel now,don't obsess over what you've been denied.

Focus on the preparation your getting for better things to come.

(Whoever your leading lady might be)

The good stuff WILL come!

[Aunt Arlene]

This explains some of your cryptic Yahoo comments, Nick.

[AlyWay]

Goodness gracious, I thought you were admitting to something else and I was about to hop a flight and kick your ass!

Now I am still getting on that flight to give this girl a good talking to about the finer qualities of our dear Nick.

[GreatMuppetyNick]

I was cryptic? Ooops.

Thanks for all the nice and comforting thoughts, but you guys needn't worry. I'm mostly over it (I think ... I hope). Except for some occasional misgivings here and there, I think I'm fine.

Incidently, I DID think about joining the foreign legion. Then I remembered that they do a lot of marching ... well, that idea went out the window pretty fast after that. ;D