The drama continues ....

[Charisma69]

And boy does it ever. My life is full of way too much drama at the moment actually.

Okay, as you guys know - if you've been paying any sort of attention at all that is - I've been seeing someone. He's a pretty good guy, lots of fun and a great kisser.

Problem is he has an ex wife. The woman is completely mental. I say this not because of him but because I used to work with her and I know what she did to my friend William Floyd when she dated him. She put that poor guy through the wringer. She took their breakup really hard and she stalked him forever.

She even tried to convince everyone that he got her pregnant - which was a total lie. Then she went to far as to try to get someone else to get her pregnant so she could come back to William Floyd and say it was his.

She once broke into his house and hid in one of his back rooms that was full of trash. They found her actually sitting in the middle of the trash.

She's actually been trying to get back in touch with him recently. She even called his Mom to ask what size shirt he wore and if she thought it would be okay if she bought him a new shirt.

Now she's screwing around with Brandon's life. They were married and have an 18 month old son. She's trying to keep him from even getting to see his son now since they split up.

I don't know all the details of why they broke up, nor do I think it's my business to know at this point.

I do know that they have an Ex parte against the other - which basically means they both can't be in the same place at the same time.

Well, I do know that they have both broken the Ex Parte agreement at different times. She broke it when his Grandpa was dying, and at his funeral. She kept coming by the house, was hanging all over him, his Aunt said she basically wouldn't let him take a step without her being there.

Then he broke it over Christmas to call her about visitation with his son.

So, New Years Eve we're all at Outlaws. He's minding his own business ignoring her and her friends. She sends her friends over to harass him - and then she comes over to our table to supposedly try to calm things down.

He basically couldn't go anywhere that night without her hanging around.

At one point we both left to get some more cash and she went up and started telling Heather all this stuff about him that wasn't true.

So when we got back Heather was pissed off at him. I tried to tell her to wait until later to say anything about it since Crystal was saying such horrible things and he was upset enough already just because she was there to begin with.

Well, Heather made it too obvious that she was mad so then he was even more upset.

When Crystal found out who I was - and she then remembered working with me - she was pissed. She ran straight to him and started yelling at him. Basically indicating that her charges were false because she was very obviously jealous.

Then she started trying to act like my best friend. I was curious to see what she had to say so I was nice to her as well. I really shouldn't have been because Brandon thought I was betraying him.

Anyway, she told me he molested a 14-year-old girl, he cheated on her numerous times, and a few other things. She told me that she didn't want to see me get hurt.

She also told me she was planning on kicking my @ss before until she found out who I was. She said she always liked me and remembered all the crap I went through with my ex and she didn't want to see me go through it again.

I just nodded and smiled at her but I was only vaguely paying attention to her.

Suddenly she darted off and ran over to him. She was pissed. Apparently I nodded at the wrong thing.

So I walk up to see what's going on and she's yelling at him about having sex with me. I said, "Did I say we had sex?"

She told me no but then she stared yelling at him again.

Well, during this whole thing I'm getting more and more irritated so I drank too much which is too bad because Brandon and I both ended up getting our feelings hurt by each other because we weren't actually communicating with each other.

We ended up straightening that out later and I will never pretend to be nice to someone again to get info. Especially without letting other parties involved know what I'm doing first so they don't get hurt.

So, when we left that night she thought Heather and I bought everything she said. She wasn't done with Brandon though.

On January 3rd she decided to press charges against him for calling her about the visitation and for being at his own Grandpa's funeral. Now who the hell does something like that?

He had more of a right to be there than she did and I just can't believe she would do something like that - but then again she's mental.

So, he had 4 arrest warrants out for him - for three phone calls and the funeral - and a cash bond of $1,500 each.

That's a $6,000 cash bond. For a cash bond you have to actually have that much cash to bail him out. That's a lot of money.

So, we tried helping him hide out while we tried to come up with a way to get the money. At first we thought all the charges together was $1,500 but then we found out that was for each individual charge.

His lawyer told him to lay low and she was going to try to help either get the charges dropped or at least change the type of bond so we could get him out for 10%.

The night we found out about the charges I went to Outlaws to ask her why she was doing it.

She still thought we were the bestest of friends so she was so nice to me.

When I asked her about the charges she said she didn't have anything to do with it. She said the prosecutor just did it on his own.

Then she had me go out to her car to listen to some answering machine messages that he left that were supposed to prove to me that he was psycho.

After listening to them I told her the only thing it showed me was that he was concerned about his son.

She got pissed that I didn't see it like that and then started making remarks about how he was using me and I was stupid for not believing her.

I told her that she would have a much better case for herself if it wasn't for the fact the I know what she did to Billy.

She admitted to me that she went crazy when she broke up with Billy but told me that it was in the past and she wasn't like that anymore.

Then she started with the whole Brandon is a molester thing - except now it was lots of girls instead of just the one.

I told her that just a few days ago you told me that it was the one girl and now it's several.

She got mad and said she could name three off the top of her head. She didn't actually name them though.

Then she was talking about how much she loved him but she kept getting angry that I wasn't buying her crap.

I tried telling her to drop all her crap for their sons sake. I said that she was just hurting her son by doing this revenge thing.

She kept trying to tell me that he cheated on her and this and that but I told her that was no excuse for doing this to him.

And it was going to really hurt their son in the long run. I said they both needed to learn to act like adults and get along at least well enough so they could both see their son.

I told her it wasn't right to do this to anyone.

She didn't see it that way, we were both pretty pissed and I left.

Then she tried pressing charges against Brandon in our county by saying he was their with me in the car when I came.

Number one, he wasn't even in the same city as me that night. Number two - she didn't even see my car.

She was inside when I drove up. When I was walking to my car I didn't walk directly to it. She walked into the building before I got to my car.

Our County didn't buy her crap though. They basically laughed at her.

All the warrants are from Iron County where they believe everything she says because her parents apparently have money.

On Thursday night at Midnight one of Brandon's friends turned him in. So now he's locked up in Iron County until either his trial or until we can figure a way to bond him out.

His lawyer wants to get it reduced but the prosecutor isn't budging. She wants us all to write out letters telling the prosecutor that Crystal isn't the angel he seems to think she is so maybe they'll change his bond.

So Heather and I have to try to remember all the crap Crystal pulled with Billy to try to help out.

Problem is, they want dates and times and such. It's been a few years since Crystal was with Billy and I didn't pay enough attention to all of that at the time.

I was going through crap of my own so most of what I know would be considered hearsay and I'm not sure it would be much help.

We all know that she lies and manipulates to get attention. She threatened suicide to Billy several times before they finally broke up.

I remember telling him that I was going to buy him a t-shirt that said "Psycho Magnet" because of her.

Last night she was at Outlaws so I went up to her in the bathroom. I said, "I hope you're proud of yourself"

She's like, "For what?"

I said "For having Brandon arrested"

She told me again that it wasn't her doing. She said the prosecutor did it on his own.

I said, but someone had to tell him about the stuff in order for him to know.

She actually told me that Brandon did that himself.

Then she was trying to lie about the charges until I said, "Um ... you do realize that I can look those up online and see exactly what they're for right?"

She didn't like that at all.

I told her she should be "Mother of the Year" - and I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible - for doing this to her sons Dad.

She's like, "You're right, I should be."

I said, what kind of sick person presses charges against someone for being at their Grandpa's funeral?

So, while I'm saying this to her she's turning white as a ghost and looks like a deer in the headlights.

Then she starts trying to open the bathroom stall that her friend is in.

She keeps twisting the door knob and saying, "Are you done yet? Are you done yet?" to her friend.

It was freakin' hilarious. I guess she figured if she could get into the stall I'd leave her alone - or maybe she thought her friend would protect her. I don't know?

Oh, and she made some comment about me being the girl he was sleeping with this week to which I replied, "But I didn't sleep with him this week."

Betty thought that was hilarious.

So when she came back out of the stall I told her that for her information Brandon and I are just friends - which is a lie but I believe a necessary one to help him get his son back.

Also, it was just so fun to see the look on her face for that one.

And I kept going on about what she did to Billy and how she was so psycho with him.

This time she told me that she was never psycho with Billy - which is a complete about face from the last time we talked.

Well, there's a bit more but I have to leave to go see Heather's kids play basketball so I'll finish this all later.

I would like advice as to how to word my letter so I can get him out. The psycho just can't win.

I hate manipulative liars and that's what she is. All the way.

Which isn't to say that he never did anything wrong but he doesn't deserve this. Nobody does.

[quantumcat]

YIKES!!!

I'm sorry to hear about all this going on.

You're right.

It's ridiculous and the worst victim is that young boy.

How do you feel about manipulative truth-tellers?

You're right about little things like showing up for one's
own grandpa's funereal.

Who'd guess that would be a violation???

If Brandon was getting a bypass done at the same hospital
where she was getting a pap smear,I guess they'd say he set
that up,too-just to be in proximity to her.

Ai yi yi....

Y'all should try to be as objective and non-vindictive/accusatory
as possible.

Try to have as many folks who know the parties involved to chime in.

Everyone needs to be truthful-no scripting for them!!!

But,still,you can include an undertone that emphasizes how good it is
that both Crystal AND Brandon must receive psychiatric evaluation by
disinterested professionals before their son's custody is worked out.

You might say something about how this would be an appropriate time
for any people Brandon has harmed to come forth (like the hordes of molested girls)
just as any folk Crystal had damaged could go on the record.

Yes,Billy and Brandon are your friends.

Yes,you know of some discouraging things about Crystal.

But that's why it's not going to be just about what you say or think.

It's about a lot of people coming together to reveal the truth.

The truth can't hurt anyone who's innocent or trying to turn his or her life
around,right?

The families and lawyers,etc. are going to be hard put to get adversarial with
someone who is actively FOR that child and for the parents getting their heads on
straight rather than one side or the other trying to distort reality so it discredits one
parent and whitewashes the other.

Anyone who makes this into a Crystal/Brandon war is going to lose.

He walked right into things by calling her and letting her stay at the funereal.

(That's to be expected but it still hurt him. So did being at Outlaws with her.)

He should never have ANY contact with her without informing an officer of the court.

(The cops,lawyers,etc. )

If he spots her in the same parking lot,store or drive-thru,even,he should latch on to some
other people to verify the trouble he *isn't* causing and he should notify the PTB that he was
there where she was.

(Lest she give out a different version of matters)

A guy I know heard his wife was out of money.

He took a few hundred dollars over to her apartment so his kids would
be o.k.

He phoned the police first and asked if they would take the funds or accompany him
over there.

They said they'd be there.

He got there first and parked in a public area before the panda cars arrived.

At that point,he went with them to the door to ring the bell and put the envelope in her
mailbox after she came to the door.

A second black-and-white arrived.

Now,he was presented with papers for violating his restraining order.

Rather strange timing,huh?

Nothing came of this because he had informed the police before he left,they were present
every second he was in contact with her,nobody acted up and he'd tried to palm off the visit onto
the lawyers and the police before he agreed to go over there.

Match that up against the papers that were ready to be signed for an infraction that never quite happened.

The cynic in me says that hints were dropped that his kids needed money so he'd either not give it and look
like a louse or stop by to give her some financial aid and get lambasted for stalking and who knows what else.

Instead,he comes across as a concerned dad who dips into his pockets beyond what the courts required and
brought the law with him so tempers couldn't get out of hand.

She might have struck a few people as a manipulative ex who couldn't handle money.

(Neither of these folk were pure saints or sinners but a 'war strategy' mindset was bringing out the worst in
both and pert near cost them both everything-including their children.)

If Brandon goes out of his way to be calm,rational and careful,he should be o.k.

Crystal,if she's as ill as she seems will sabotage herself far worse than she could hurt anyone else.

Those who have a duty to look after her interests will have to limit what damage she attempts but
the wilder her claims get,the more trouble she tries to stir up,etc. the more ludicrous she'll appear.

The funereal bit was bad enough.

("I'm so terrified of this man,I crashed a bereaved family's gathering and attatched myself to him like a lamprey.")

If she's not prudent,she'll not be able to avoid prosecution for harrassment and frivolous charges.

She'll have a Hobson's choice between being declared a malicious nuisance or being declared demented and unfit
to be living at large.

Her only hope of being treated as a sane,responsible,benign person is to act like one.

My advice to both of them is : Don't let the disease in Crystal's soul corrupt your judgement and cause you to behave in a
destructive manner.

Their actions will have more credibility than any words.

Spite and exploitation will cause no end of hurt but the truth WILL set y'all free.

Focus on the facts and on whatever it takes to heal things and that high ground will
get things resolved a lot faster and a lot better than worrying about a bunch of drama
queens (and/or kings) chewing on scenery while racking up victims.

[tjaman]

* wonders, not for the first time, if we're paying q enough *

[quantumcat]

Awww,no worries there.

We get paid by seniority.

;D

[Charisma69]

Thanks so much q. I've been on pins and needles waiting for your sage advice. You so didn't let me down.

I plan on incorporating you advice into my letter. I just hope I can do a good enough job. I've written it in my head a hundred times but it's so important to do it right.

I really hate that he's in this situation. I just don't understand how anyone can act like her.

I can only hope that she can one day see reason. She's not only hurting Brandon, but she's going to destroy their son this way.

I think I'll send him some of your advice in my letter to him. I'm trying not to write too much in a letter about what's going on because I know they read this stuff before hand but the advice should do him some good and there's nothing that can hurt his case in it.

Thanks so much for the advice again. It means alot to me.

[TheMasterGeek]

Wow, that situation totally stinks. I wish I had something to say, but I can only say, I'm sorry about all the drama that surrounds you.

[quantumcat]

I'm glad if I can help.

The best advice I can see is if Brandon just keeps being a decent,intelligent grown-up
and (other than protecting his backside) ignores her.

All possible contact should occurr through professional parties.

Everything possible should be verified/verifiable by third parties,written records,etc.

(Think registered lettes,etc.)

Avoid he said/she said encounters and remember that tamper-proof photoes are your
friends.

Don't make her a villainess or nutcase but feel free to let people see truths that would
lead them to examine the facts for themselves and draw their own conclusions.

If she's a victim,she won't mind if Brandon leads his life in an exemplary manner.

If she's obsessed with owning and hurting him,it would frustrate her no end.

(The reverse is true,of course. That's yet another meaning to the adage "Living well
is the best revenge." Anytime you don't become what you hate,you've won.)

A sick,obsessed person is willing-even eager-to suffer if it takes her target down
with her.

Such persons won't care about who gets hit with collateral damage.

There are a few Solomons left who'll see that a person who puts the child's welfare
first is probably the one to trust.

Again,it's hard to repair the damage that these scenarios cause but they can get healed.

The next steps are pretty much confined to:

1. Crystal and her side playing it straight. (That's good for Brandon.)

2. A vendetta against Brandon,whatever the cost. (This can also be good for him.)

A scorched earth policy against the other side gives any observer a reason to wonder
why there's a need to go after one's opponent so hard if he's guilty.

Why wouldn't the facts speak for themselves without the circus atmosphere?

It's a lot less exhausting and complicated to just act like one has some sense and
trust that things will get back to how they should be.

The folks choreographing a bad soap opera and having to re-invent reality for everyone
they talk to have to get worn out.

They have to be control freaks and they can't trust anyone or anything.

People who live in the real world can 'let go and let God' because they don't have to
manipulate things to match their agenda.

The truth and common sense are already working for them.

As long as panic and despair and hate don't take over,Brandon would have an advantage
just by being honorable and level-headed.

If he gives in to the negative,the bad guys win.

You'll be in my prayers.

[Charisma69]

Thanks q. I put your advice in my letter to him. You say it so well that it was much easier just to directly quote you than to try and paraphrase it.

I really hope it helps him as much as it helps me to read it. I don't want him to be discouraged but I know he's going to be. He's locked up and we don't know for how long right now.

He hasn't been able to see his son in a few weeks thanks to her having him on the run. It must be really awful for him.

I tried to keep my letter mostly on the positive side and full of fluff. For one, I know they'll read it before they give it to him so I don't want anything in there that can harm his case, and I also want to take him mind off things for a little while.

So I told him all about our Wii-giving ( I call it that because we had Turkey, dressing, and all the fixing that night along with playing the Wii. Courtney had won the turkey in the Thanksgiving drawing at work and he gave it to us to fix so we decided to do it for all the guys when we had them over. It was a huge success)party we had the other night. Hopefully it entertains him but doesn't make him more depressed since he wasn't able to be there.

It's so hard to know what to say to someone in this situation. I've never had to deal with anything like this before. I really hope the letters help the lawyer get him out of there.

[Charisma69]

Heather was at work today and she said Brandon's Mom and Step Dad came in to eat.

We've never met them before but Bonnie went to school with Brandon's Mom so she's known Brandon since he was a baby.

Bonnie pointed them out to Heather so Heather went up to talk to them.

She asked them if they'd heard from their son. His Mom said no, though she was aware he'd been arrested. Heather said she was floored because they didn't seem to care.

Heather asked them if they were writing a letter for the lawyer. His Mom apparently said, "Oh yeah, I was supposed to do that but I'm not going to."

She also said they wouldn't be visiting him in Jail on Friday.

Bonnie said that Crystal stirred up trouble with Brandon and his parents when they first got married. She says that Crystal ruled the roost and that she drove a wedge between him and his family.

Apparently she wouldn't let them see their Grandson. So now feelings were hurt all around and apparently the family isn't very forgiving.

They all told him to steer clear of her but he wouldn't listen. He's listening now but I guess as far as they're concerned it's too late.

He told me that his Aunt was the only family he really had but I had no idea it was really that bad. I figured that his parents could be upset with him for stuff but no way they'd turn their back on him.

I guess I was wrong. Heather said she was so upset after she talked to them.

There's no way I'm going to say anything to him about it. He's going through enough stuff right now without that.

I called the county jail today to find out when he could make phone calls. His Aunt told me that she talked to someone there on Friday that told her the phones were shut off until further notice.

Well when I called today the lady informed me that each cell had it's own phone and that he could call out whenever he wanted to. I asked if he was in trouble or something because nobody has heard from him. She told me that if he hasn't called yet it's because he hasn't picked up the phone and dialed the number.

His Aunt told me that she's really even more worried now if he's actually allowed to call. She says that it's not like him to call. He was in jail before for fighting - very long story involving his brothers - and she said he was constantly calling her because he was bored.

He doesn't like to be alone with nobody to talk to. It doesn't make sense for him to not call.

She's afraid they've threatened him somehow. I mean we have no way of knowing what's going on with him since we can't see him until Friday.

We were supposed to give the letters to his lawyer today. I met his Aunt at the lawyers office but she didn't call ahead of time to tell her we were coming so nobody was there.

I wish I would have known that ahead of time.

So now I have to call when I'm at work tomorrow. I'm hoping to get a chance to talk to her face-to-face and find out what's going on. I've got all the letters so I can give them to her.

I just hope his lawyer is as good as she thinks she is. She was bragging that the Prosecutor didn't want to face her in court when we paid her before he got arrested. So far I haven't seen results from her.

[quantumcat]

I wonder if he's just poleaxed by depression- or if he got lambasted for staying on the
phone 24-7 last time.

There could be some other things going on.

I bet his family will generously condescend to take the chill off after their son wins
and doesn't need their support anymore.

It'll mean a lot that he has some REAL backup.

I doubt anyone else around him has intelligent,devoted friends that would provide
him good help.

He could have a far worse case and be o.k. because he has smart, caring people
in his corner.

That confidence should be a big assist to him- personally and in regard to the case.

[Charisma69]

Thanks q. ;D

He actually called me last night. They did have the phones off all weekend.

He's actually doing much better than I thought he'd be in there. Apparently the very small town Jail can be almost fun - but freezing.

He said it's like a dungeon in there but he's the Godfather of the cells.

Apparently he rules them all. He knows the people on the Sheriff's Dept. there so I'm thinking he's getting away with all sorts of things.

I brought him some Coffee, cigarettes, French Vanilla creamer (which was more for his "boys" than for him since he drinks his coffee black), and a word puzzle book to help pass the time.

He said it was like getting Christmas.

I got a call just a little bit ago from a cell phone. I decided to go ahead and answer it in case it was one of his family members.

It was actually him. They smuggled a cell phone in.

I asked him how and he said that he was The Godfather.

All his boys are loving him since they get to share the coffee and cream with him.

I guess they all love me too for bringing it. One of them said hi to me when we were on the phone talking.

I'm just happy that he's not all discouraged and stuff. He's almost having a boring sleep over with funky pajamas at the moment.

Yeah, you should see what they're wearing. I didn't get to see him when I dropped the stuff off today but I did see one of the inmates.

She was wearing those black and white stripped outfits.

You know, the ones you see on old movies. I didn't know they did that anymore.

They better let me bring a digital camera in there on Friday because I am so going to take a picture of that. It's just too funny.

[quantumcat]

I'm glad things are going so well.

You can check prison websites for further ideas on how to make the best of this time.

(Don't let it get tooooo country club-ish or somebody might use that against him.

He needs to seem a good guy given an unfair fate-not an abuser who has no need to
repent if he's having a taxpayer funded party with his criminal buddies.)

It's great that he isn't alone and miserable and in danger.

Let's hope that the fact he's liked and respected by the inmates and jail officials convinces
folks of his good character.