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Post by Aunt Arlene on Oct 7, 2004 13:05:07 GMT -5
Dayton, Ohio A campaign stop for candidate Yellow turned ugly today as campaign advisor Blue received a death threat. We have been told that the advisor received an envelope with a broken blue crayon and a note which read, "You can tell that (expletive deleted) he can choke on those diamonds." The Secret Service is looking into the matter.
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Post by PyleansDontLeaveMe on Oct 7, 2004 13:27:07 GMT -5
I heard that Yellow is having a gay affair with Fuscia!
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Post by tjaman on Oct 7, 2004 13:45:19 GMT -5
Fuschia, together with life partner Chartreuse, held a press conference today to dispell rumors of any involvement with Candidate Yellow.
"My life partner and I are quite happy together," Fuschia said. "I wish the candidate and his family all success and happiness, but I would never contemplate destroying the happiness Chartreuse and I have together with a cheap, tawdry affair in a Motel 6 on I-90 last Thursday."
"Si, and he wouldn't even pick up the check, el bastardo cheapo gordo," added an irrepressible Chartreuse.
Yellow was unavailable for comment, as he was visiting a local emergency room for what reporters were told was a routine medical examination.
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Post by Aunt Arlene on Oct 7, 2004 14:20:01 GMT -5
Yellow's bid for the presidency suffered a major setback today when the campaign's advisor, Blue, resigned from her post. When asked about the sudden departure Blue replied, "It's that crazy woman, Lemon. She won't leave me alone. Plus, I think Yellow has been cheating on me."
Yellow had this to say on the subject, "Women! Can't live with them. Why try?"
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Post by Aunt Arlene on Oct 7, 2004 15:01:28 GMT -5
Our latest polls show Yellow gaining momentum despite recent events. We went out in search of an average voter who is supporting Yellow.
Reporter: Sir? Are you planning on voting for Yellow?
Man: You bet.
Reporter: Why would you want to vote for a jaundiced, philandering, bisexual?
Man: Meh. He's better than Bush.
Reporter: Truer words were never spoken.
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Post by PyleansDontLeaveMe on Oct 7, 2004 16:26:08 GMT -5
This thread makes my soul happy
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Post by bitterman on Oct 7, 2004 16:28:11 GMT -5
I'm voting Green just to piss off the Rainbowcrats.
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Post by PyleansDontLeaveMe on Oct 7, 2004 16:53:29 GMT -5
We prefer to just be called 'The Gays' now.
THANK YOU!
With that, I must go home for the evening
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Post by Aunt Arlene on Oct 7, 2004 16:57:11 GMT -5
In an attempt to shore up newly sagging polls, candidate Yellow woud like to announce the release of his new campaign song. (You knew it had to happen.  ) Sung to the tune of Yellow SubmarineThere was a man, where I was born
The President, he wanted to be
And he told, us of his life
Oh his life, of campaigning
Experience, he had none
Truth be told, he was green
Our reviews, were always raves
We were Yellow, campaigning
We all live for Yellow campaigning,
Yellow campaigning, Yellow campaigning
We all live for Yellow campaigning,
Yellow campaigning, Yellow campaigning
And our friends, are all on board
Many more of them, live next door
And the band begins to play
We all live for Yellow campaigning,
Yellow campaigning, Yellow campaigning
We all live for Yellow campaigning,
Yellow campaigning, Yellow campaigning
As we live, a life of ease
Everyone of us, has all we need
He's no longer, very green
Beacuse of Yellow, campaigning
We all live for Yellow campaigning,
Yellow campaigning, Yellow campaigning
We all live for Yellow campaigning,
Yellow campaigning, Yellow campaigning
We all live for Yellow campaigning,
Yellow campaigning, Yellow campaigning
We all live for Yellow campaigning,
Yellow campaigning, Yellow campaigningWith apologies to the Beatles.  |
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Post by tjaman on Oct 7, 2004 17:12:30 GMT -5
That was cute and sweet, and more interesting than Bush-bashing and Kerry-cursing.
But aren't we all being a little hasty in hitching our wagons to a jaundiced, philandering pigment of our imagination?
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Post by grailwolf on Oct 7, 2004 22:02:54 GMT -5
I feel that I need to issue a thread-wide  See, this is why I don't share my best jokes with you people. You take 'em, make 'em way funnier, and then I look like a putz. More of putz. Oh, whatever. Vote Yellow! |
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Post by Dr. Purple Goddess on Oct 7, 2004 22:14:58 GMT -5
I feel that I need to issue a thread-wide  See, this is why I don't share my best jokes with you people. You take 'em, make 'em way funnier, and then I look like a putz. More of putz. Oh, whatever. Vote Yellow! [glow=purple,2,300]You of all people could never....okay, hardly ever...umm mostly never...be a putz... you are a genius in your own right my friend so bring on the funnier stuff!!!! that was supposed to be a compliment of course:)[/glow] |
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Post by bitterman on Oct 7, 2004 22:18:06 GMT -5
Yes, keep with the funny grailwolf.
You putz.
;D
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Post by grailwolf on Oct 8, 2004 7:55:03 GMT -5
*blushes in Feigy's direction*  *glares at B'man in a friendly, just-kidding, not-in-the-face kind of way*  |
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Post by bitterman on Oct 8, 2004 8:07:36 GMT -5
Oooh, the Passive-Aggressive ticket, what a great idea!
;D
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