Ask Mistress Spanks-a-Lot

[mistressspanksalot]

Ask me anything here. Whether it be about sex, drugs, rock and roll, love, or even the stock market, whatever. I have much worldly experience and I am willing to share it with you.

For I, am Mistress Spanks-a-lot and I have seen and done practically everything.

And I do take requests

[tjaman]

MISTRESS! -- So, you've got WB executives Garth Ancier and Jordan Levin in kind of an ... uncomfortable situation -- a la Angel and Spike from "The Girl in Question" -- or, perhaps more appropriately, Warren from "Villians." What do you do? -- Detail-Oriented and Hungry for Knowledge

[mistressspanksalot]

tjaman said:

MISTRESS! -- So, you've got WB executives Garth Ancier and Jordan Levin in kind of an ... uncomfortable situation -- a la Angel and Spike from "The Girl in Question" -- or, perhaps more appropriately, Warren from "Villians." What do you do? -- Detail-Oriented and Hungry for Knowledge

Dear Detail-Oriented and Hungry for Knowledge;

It's important to note that there are all kinds of ways in which being in such an uncomfortable position might go. But since you were going for more of a "Warren from Villians" theme.....

Okay, I think I would have liked this question more, had you stuck with the spike and Angel thing...but since you didn't.

You can't go wrong with gags shoved in their mouths, clamps on their sensitive areas with weights hanging from the clamps....then, wrap them in saran wrap with nothing but nose holes.....leave them there a few hours with a hot lamp shining on them...You can unwrap them once they've darkened, but only if you plan on having cooked frog execs for dinner.

I recommend cutting the saran wrap in peices, without pulling it away from the skin.....but once you have each square cut, rip it off as fast as possible....this will not rip the skin completely off...but it will take off a couple layers.

Then, after you've de-mummified them, it is important to rub them down in salt water, more salt than water of course....

Now, I would also like to recommend using sea salt as well...if you rub it hard into that oh so sensitive skin, it makes them scream louder....which doesn't matter since they're gagged....

I could go on, but this could take days and I've only minutes until my next vic- um- client comes. I may ellaborate more on this at a later date....

now leave me until you have another question!
Mistress S.

[bitterman]

I am so INCREDIBLY skeptical.

Call me a cynic.

[tjaman]

I like the way you think, Mistress™.

And your avatar quote, b'man.

Thank you.

[AlyWay]

Dear Mistress-

I am looking for a gift for my husband for Christmas. Should I go with the body paint gift set or the bondage set?

Thanks for your time.
spk1903

***seriously, i am having a hard time deciding

[PyleansDontLeaveMe]

Do we all get to vote on this one?

because I'm gonna need to know exactly what comes in each kit.


I mean, what's included in each kit...

[AlyWay]

I will have descriptions tomorrow am.

Maybe I should have started a poll instead.

Or maybe a pole is what he wants too. ;D

[mistressspanksalot]

spk1903 said:

Dear Mistress-

I am looking for a gift for my husband for Christmas. Should I go with the body paint gift set or the bondage set?

Thanks for your time.
spk1903

***seriously, i am having a hard time deciding

Well, because bondage is sorta my forte' I would recommend you pick the bondage one. HOWEVER, it IS important to know what is contained in these kits as someone pointed out....

The body paint kit, would probably be the safe bet. Because usually there is no pain involved with using the products...(though I have some nice tips on how to make it more painful if you're interested...though the manufacturers probably warn against it) If it's the latex paint you can peel off, it is quite sensational (literally) during foreplay.

In any case, please do research before using the bondage kit. I don't know how many times I've lost clients just starting out because they just jumped in all willy nilly...

Oh, and when you've restrained or put someone in bondage...ALWAYS remember where you left them. I have a really funny story about doing that actually....

Oh and everyone say hello to the Frog Execs, I have hung on that meat hook over there. Courtesy of some detail oriented guy.

right now their feet and arms are shackled from the ceiling and they are in a "reverse doggie" position. So if you'd like to use those SOS scouring pads I've laid out to remove the hair from their chests feel free.

Mistress S.

[Aunt Arlene]

Dear Mistress,

Since we're on the subject of Christmas presents, what do you get the sub who has nothing?

Signed,
Dominewbie

[mistressspanksalot]

Aunt said:

Dear Mistress,

Since we're on the subject of Christmas presents, what do you get the sub who has nothing?

Signed,
Dominewbie

The sub who has nothing is a right and proper sub, as anyone knows, the sub IS a posession and thus cannot possess in turn. However, it is good to give your sub treats from time to time. Something made of rubber usually does the trick....

But, if you don't have a chastity belt for your sub, than that is the first thing to get.

Hope that helps.

Mistress S.

[Aunt Arlene]

Dear Mistress,

Did ITL really go away for the holidays or is he just recovering from his encounter with you?

[mistressspanksalot]

Aunt said:

Dear Mistress,

Did ITL really go away for the holidays or is he just recovering from his encounter with you?

Sorry, I must respect Dom & Sub confidentiality....But I suspect he likes weilding the whip more than recieving it.
;D

Mistress S.

[tjaman]

So a masochist scans the personal ads in search of a sadist. He finds one, they meet, one thing leads to another and the masochist gets trussed up right proper.

For long moments, neither moves, one by design and the other of volition. The masochist looks with trepidation into the sadist's eyes and asks, "Are you ... going to ... beat me, sir?"

And the sadist, eyes glowing with a demonic flame, replies, "No."

[AlyWay]

Sorry no descriptions of the kits today kiddies.

Spent 2 hours at the ER last night and then another 45 minutes at the pharmacy for my 6 year old last night. Then I had to come home and do laundry and dishes.