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Post by Aunt Arlene on Nov 1, 2004 22:25:06 GMT -5
In this scenario, many former Sunnydale residents appear on Dr. Phil's show. Except for Dr. Phil's lines, all of the dialog has been taken from BtVS.
Disclaimer: All logic has flown out the window here.
We open with the Scoobies and friends seated on stage. One chair is offset. It is occupied by Dr. Phil. He is wearing a cowboy hat for some reason.
Dr. Phil: Welcome to the show everyone. I want to introduce a group from Sunnydale, California. These people have numerous problems. Not the least of which they believe in vampires and other assorted demons, but we'll get to that later. OK. Why don't y'all introduce...
Dr. Phil is interrupted as the gang tries to speak at once.
Giles: What am I? I'm an unemployed librarian with a tendency to get knocked on the head. Buffy: I'm Betty Louise Plotnick of East Cupcake, Illinois. Willow: I have frog fear. Xander: I laugh in the face of danger! Then I hide until it goes away. Buffy: Destructo-girl, that's me. Giles: Well, um, I enjoy cross-referencing. Dr. Phil: What about you, Cordelia? Cordelia? Cordelia: I hear you, you red-neck moron. You got a dress that goes with that hat? Willow: Don't warn the tadpoles! Buffy: Willow, do we have to be in total share mode? Giles: All right, come on. Let's not, uh, freak out. Dr. Phil: You people are making me look bad. I'm world renowned! Buffy: How do you get to be renowned? I mean, like, do you have to be nowned first? Drucilla: Do you know what I miss? Leeches. Willow: This just can't get more disturbing.
Dr. Phil tries to restore order.
Dr. Phil: OK. Everyone calm down. I don't think we have heard from everyone yet. Who is that lurking in the corner? Spike: I wasn't lurking. I was standing about. It's a whole different vibe. Dr. Phil: What about you, Anya? Tell us about yourself. Anya: Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins, 20 years old, born on the 4th of July, and don't think there weren't jokes about that my whole life, Mister, 'cause there were. "Who's our little patriot?" they'd say, when I was younger, and therefore smaller and shorter than I am now. Dr. Phil: Wait a minute. Why are there two Buffys here? Buffybot: I don't understand that question, but thank you for asking! Dr. Phil: And you, Angel? Any thoughts? Angel Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feeling guilty. Really honed my brooding skills. Buffybot: Angel's lame. His hair grows straight up, and he's bloody stupid. Dawn: Can we go now? Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed. Xander: Did everybody have their crazy flakes today? Dr.Phil So I understand that Spike and Angel think they are vampires. Xander: We usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones. Spike: Oh, my head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible. Oh, god. I wish I were dead. Drucilla: The king of cups expects a picnic, but this is not his birthday. Willow: Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did you?
Everyone suddenly grows tired of the questioning and they all try to leave. Dr. Phil tries to stop them.
Dr. Phil: Where are y'all going? Buffy: Let me answer that question with a head-butt.
Spike also hits Dr. Phil. Unsurprisingly, Spike's chip doesn't react.
Dr. Phil: You hit me! Spike: And you're what, shocked and disappointed? I'm evil. Drucilla: Look at the wonderful mess you've made. Dr. Phil: What is wrong with you people? Buffy: What part of punching you in the face did you not understand?
Inexplicably, Vamp Willow shows up. Everyone starts to leave, but Vamp Willow stays behind with Dr. Phil.
Vamp Willow: Bored now. This is the part that's less fun. When there isn't any screaming. That's right, puppy. Willow's gonna make you bark.
As they all exit the studio, Oz finally speaks up.
Oz: Just so we're clear, you guys know you're nuts, right?
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Post by tjaman on Nov 1, 2004 22:36:45 GMT -5
* applause * Except for the fact that it's mostly a bizarre collection of much beloved quotes, I am overwhelmed by how much I love that scenario, Auntie. Outstanding!
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Post by Charisma69 on Nov 1, 2004 22:44:01 GMT -5
Just when I think you can no longer surprise and amaze me with your brilliance, you go and do it again. ;D
You totally RAWK Aunt Arlene!!!!
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Post by Aunt Arlene on Nov 1, 2004 22:50:34 GMT -5
I might have been too subtle (highly doubtful), but I don't care for Dr. Phil too much. I find it theraputic to think of him in a room with Vamp Willow. Mwahahahaha.
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Post by Charisma69 on Nov 1, 2004 22:56:43 GMT -5
Now you must do one to torment Sally Jesse Rapheal (sp) and Jerry Springer. Two more talk show hosts that are in desperate need of being tormented. ;D
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Post by Aunt Arlene on Nov 2, 2004 15:04:58 GMT -5
The Fang Gang find themselves in an alley behind a theater. They open the stage door and find...
Angel: Oh no. Not puppets again. Angel notices the look on Spike's face. Say one word, Spike, and I will rip your tongue out. Spike: I didn't say anything! Scooter: Oh and we're Muppets, not puppets. Wes: What's the difference? Fozzie Bear: About $100 an episode. Wakka wakka wakka! That was a pretty good straight line. You should look into doing stand up.
Kermit comes backstage, very frantic. He starts yelling at Scooter.
Kermit: Where is the guest for this week? Scooter: I don't know boss. They haven't shown up yet. Kermit: Well, what about these people? Can they fill in? Angel: Sorry, we just wanted some directions. Lorne: Oh come on, my little moon pie. How hard could it be?
Kermit gives Lorne an odd look.
Kermit: Hey! Aren't you the guy that's been covering my song? Lorne nods nervously. We need a musical number for later. How about we do "It's Not Easy Being Green" as a duet? Lorne's face lights up.
Kermit runs onstage to introduce the show.
Kermit: It's the Muppet Show with our Very Special Guest Star...um...some guys!
It's time to play the music It's time to light the lights It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight.
It's time to put on makeup It's time to dress up right It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight.
Why do we always come here I guess we'll never know It's like a kind of torture To have to watch the show
And now let's get things started Why don't you get things started It's time to get things started On the most sensational inspirational celebrational Muppetational This is what we call the Muppet Show!
Gonzo blows his trumpet. It sounds like a whistle. Gonzo turns the trumpet around and looks at it.
Kermit: We have a great show for you tonight. Unfortunately our original guests didn't show up tonight, but we found some really great replacements...I hope. For our first number, I will be joined by Lorne, and accompanied by Rowlf on the piano. Statler: These seats are terrible! Waldorf: We can see everything. Statler: That's what I mean.
The curtain raises. Kermit hurries to join Lorne for their number. We go backstage, where things are very confused. Most of the male Muppets are staring at Cordy and Fred, practically drooling.
Animal: Animal! Animal!
Fred reaches out and pats him on the head. Animal passes out. Lorne and Kermit finish their number.
Statler: You know, the older I get, the more I appreciate good music. Waldorf: What's that got to do with what we just heard? Statler: Nothing, just thought I'd mention it.
Miss Piggy comes backstage and notices Kermit drooling along with the rest.
Miss Piggy: Kermit, do you notice that every time we have a beautiful girl on the show, you forget about me? Kermit: Uh, yeah well, we could have a seal act on the show, and I might forget about you.
Miss Piggy decides that she must fight for Kermit. She aims a flying kick at Fred and Cordelia.
Miss Piggy: Haiyaa!
Angel catches her before she can do any harm.
Angel: You know, it's good to know that there is plenty of pig's blood around in case I get hungry.
Miss Piggy wisely retreats to her dressing room.
Sam the Eagle passes through and notices Spike.
Sam: You, sir, are a demented, sick, degenerate, barbaric, naughty freako! Spike: Why, thank you!
Sam looks at the camera.
Sam: Freakos: One, civilization: Zero.
Onstage we see the Swedish Chef attempting to boil lobsters.
Swedish Chef: Yorn desh born, der ritt de gitt der gue, Orn desh, dee born desh, de umn bork! bork! bork!
His spot is cut short as we see the Chef backstage, covered in angry lobsters.
Waldorf: That number scared the pants off of me. Statler: Are you sure you didn't just forget to put them on?
Everyone floods onstage for the end of the show.
Fred: That was great! Kermit: Great? Are you kidding? You people were awful. That was the worst show we have ever done! Statler: Finally! Something we can all agree on!
The closing music plays as we see all of the Muppets and the Fang Gang arguing onstage. Animal is biting Spike's calf. The Swedish Chef is throwing lobsters at Angel. The gang run for their lives.
Angel: Lousy puppets!
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Post by tjaman on Nov 2, 2004 15:08:09 GMT -5
G-d DAMN I love you Auntie! You've got the bar raised really high in this place. Funny, funny stuff.
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Post by Aunt Arlene on Nov 21, 2004 18:44:22 GMT -5
This isn't a typical crossover, but I thought it made sense to put it in here. Imagine, if you will, that the female HtH members (aka The HtH Dancers) are performing a musical number from Chicago. We were one person short, so Eliza joined in.
Dr. Feigy Pants: Pop Charisma69: Six Aunt Arlene: Squish spk1903: Uh uh Eliza: Cicero Ready To Bake: Lipschitz!
tjaman seated at the piano in a smashing tux And now the six merry murderesses of the Crookem County Jail in their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango"
Dr. Feigy Pants: Pop Charisma69: Six Aunt Arlene: Squish spk1903: Uh uh Eliza: Cicero Ready To Bake: Lipschitz!
ALL: He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it Eliza: I betcha you would have done the same!
Dr. Feigy Pants: Pop Charisma69: Six Aunt Arlene: Squish spk1903: Uh uh Eliza: Cicero Ready To Bake: Lipschitz!
Dr. Feigy Pants (Spoken): You know how people have these little habits that get you down. Like Bernie. Bernie liked to chew gum. No, not chew. POP. So I came home this one day, And I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy and there's Bernie layin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Poppin'. So, I said to him, I said, "You pop that gum one more time..." and he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots...into his head.
ALL: He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there If you'd have heard it I betcha you would have dome the same!
Charisma69 (Spoken): I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake city about two years ago and he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, We'd have dinner. And then I found out, "Single" he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he married ...oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when he came home, I fixed him his drink as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic.
ALL: He had it coming He had it coming He took a flower In its prime And then he used it And he abused it It was a murder But not a crime!
Aunt Arlene (Spoken): Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business, and in storms my husband Wilbur, in a jealous rage. "You been screwin' the milkman," he says. He was crazy and he kept screamin', "you been screwin the milkman." And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times!
ALL: If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it I betcha you would have done the same!
spk1903 (Spoken in Hungarian): Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. probaltam a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg...
Aunt Arlene (Spoken): Yeah, but did you do it?
spk1903: UH UH, not guilty!
Eliza: My sister, Veronica and I did this double act and my husband, Charlie, used to travel round with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row One,two,three,four,five...splits, spread eagles, back flips,flip flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show we're down at the hotel Cicero,the three of us,boozin', havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie doing Number Seventeen the spread eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead.
Eliza: They had it coming The HtH Dancers: They had it coming Eliza: They had it coming The HtH Dancers: They had it coming Eliza: They had it coming all along The HtH Dancers: They had it coming all along Eliza: I didn't do it The HtH Dancers: She didn't do it Eliza: But if I done it The HtH Dancers: But if she done it Eliza: How could you tell me that I was wrong?
Eliza: They had it coming The HtH Dancers: They had it coming Eliza: They had it coming The HtH Dancers: They had it coming Eliza: They had it coming The HtH Dancers: They took a flower Eliza: All along The HtH Dancers: In its prime Eliza: I didn't do it The HtH Dancers: And then they used it Eliza: But if I'd done it, How could you tell me that I was wrong?
Ready To Bake(Spoken): I loved Al Lipschitz more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy... sensitive... a painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead.
ALL: The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
Feigy, Eliza and spk: He had it coming RTB C69 and Auntie: He had it coming Feigy, Eliza and spk: He only had himself to blame. RTB C69 and Auntie: He only had himself to blame. Feigy, Eliza and spk: If you'd have been there RTB C69 and Auntie: If you'd have been there Feigy, Eliza and spk: If you'd have seen it RTB C69 and Auntie: If you'd have seen it ALL: I betcha you would have done the same!
Dr. Feigy Pants (Spoken): You pop that gum one more time! Charisma69 (spoken): Single my ass. Aunt Arlene (Spoken): Ten times! spk1903 (Spoken): Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe. Eliza (Spoken): Number seventeen-the spread eagle. Ready To Bake (Spoken): Artistic differences.
Dr. Feigy Pants: Pop Charisma69: Six Aunt Arlene: Squish spk1903: Uh uh Eliza: Cicero Ready To Bake: Lipschitz!
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Post by Charisma69 on Nov 21, 2004 19:14:08 GMT -5
Wow, that was fun. We all did a kick @ss job! ;D
Great timing too. I just watched Chicago for the first time last night.
Hell of a movie. ;D
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Post by tjaman on Nov 21, 2004 22:03:38 GMT -5
That was wild, Auntie. Let me try something along those lines ...
SMELLS LIKE CARITAS by Joss Luhrman
[WESLEY] It was a karaoke bar, a nightclub and a bordello, where the dark and deadly came to play with the young and beautiful, and at the mic was the darkly charismatic ... [LORNE] Caritas! [WESLEY] Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan and his infamous girls. They called them “CYNTHIA!” [CYNTHIA! (Cordy, Fred, Gwen, Harmony, Eve and Justine)] Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista. Hey sista, go sista. .. [LORNE] If life’s an awful bore. . . [CYNTHIA!] ...soul sista, flow sista... [LORNE] ... And living’s just a chore / That we do ... [CYNTHIA!] ...Hey sista, go sista... [LORNE] ...‘Cause death’s not much fun ... [CYNTHIA!] ...go sista. [CYNTHIA!] ...Giuchie giuchie, ya ya ... [LORNE] ... I have just the antidote... [CYNTHIA!] ...da da... [LORNE] ... And though I mustn’t gloat, At Caritas! You’ll have fun! [CYNTHIA!] Oh la-la! [LORNE] ... Just scratch that little niggle, Have a little wiggle ... [CYNTHIA!] ... Creole Lady Marmalade ... [LORNE] ... You know that you can, ‘Cause we can can-can! [CYNTHIA!] ... Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? [LORNE] ... Don’t say you can’t, can’t, can’t! [CYNTHIA!] ... Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? [LORNE] ... You know you can can-can! [DEMONS] Here we are now, entertain us! We feel stupid and contagious! [LORNE] Got some dark desire? Love to play with fire? Why not let it rip, live a little bit! Can can-can! [DEMONS] Here we are now, entertain us! [LORNE] Don’t say you can’t, can’t, can’t! You know you can can-can! [CYNTHIA!] Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? [DEMONS] ‘Cause we can can-can! [LORNE] Outside it may be raining, But in here it’s entertaining! [CYNTHIA] If you’re young, young, young and you’re free, free, free [LORNE] Then Caritas is the place to be! ‘Cause we can can-can! [ALL] We can! [LORNE]Yes we can can-can! [ALL] We can! [DEMONS] Here we are now, entertain us! [LORNE] Outside things may be tragic, But in here we feel it’s magic! [FURIES] Mmmm ... Lorne! [DEMONS] Here we are now, entertain us! [LORNE] The can-can. Because we can can-can! [CYNTHIA!] Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista. Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, go sista. Giuchie giuchie ya ya da da Giuchie giuchie ya ya here. [LORNE] Because we can can-can! Yes we can can-can! [CYNTHIA!] Creole Lady Marmalade! [LORNE] Because we can can-can! Yes we can can-can! [FANG GANG (Angel, Spike, Gunn and Wesley)] Well you can bump and grind ... [WESLEY] ‘Cause it’s good for your mind! [DEMONS] Here we are now, entertain us! [CYNTHIA!] Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? [LORNE] We can can-can! [CYNTHIA!] Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista. [ANGEL] Wesley! [DEMONS] Here we are now, entertain us! [CYNTHIA!] Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? [ANGEL] Mission accomplished! We successfully evaded Lorne! [LORNE] Cancan, cancan, cancan... [ANGEL] ... It's her! The Rogue Slayer! [FAITH] The French are glad to die for love. They delight in fighting duels. [WESLEY] But someone else was to meet Faith that night. [FAITH] But I prefer a man who lives ... [WESLEY] Lorne's investor... [FAITH] And gives expensive jewels. [WESLEY] Hamilton. [FAITH w/ CYNTHIA!] A kiss on the hand may be quite continental / But diamonds are a girl's best friend / A kiss may be grand but it won't pay the rental / on your humble flat. / Or help you feed your cat (meow) pussycat / Men grow cold as girls grow old / and we all lose our charms in the end / But square cut or pear shaped / These rocks don't lose their shapes / Diamonds are a girl's best friend / Tiffany! [HAMILTON] When am I going to meet the girl? [LORNE] After her number, I've arranged a special meeting with you and Mademoiselle Faith . . . totally alone. [FAITH] CARTIER! [ANGEL] After her number, I've arranged a private meeting with just you and the Rogue Slayer -- totally alone. [WESLEY] Alone? [ANGEL and LORNE] Totally alone. [FAITH] Cause we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl! Black star, Rozz call / Talk to me Lorne, tell me all about it! There may come a time when a lass needs a lawyer [LORNE] But diamonds are a girl's best friend [FAITH] There may come a time when a hot-boiled employer thinks you're [LORNE] Awful nice [FAITH] But get that ice or else no dice (Angel spills a drink on Hamilton) [ANGEL] Don't worry, don't worry, I'll sally forth and get things cleaned up.. [FAITH] Is Hamilton here, Lorne? [LORNE] Yes, of course. [ANGEL] Terribly sorry... [FAITH] Where is he? (Angel is now shaking a hanky at Hamilton, trying to clean up the mess he made. Hamilton pushes him away) [LORNE] He's the one Angel is shaking his hanky at. Honestly, I can't take that boy anywhere! (Angel goes to Wesley to get another hanky) [ANGEL] Excuse me Wesley, may I borrow? [CYNTHIA!] Diamonds are a girl's best, diamonds are a girl's best, diamonds are a girl's best friend... (Faith sees Angel shaking the hanky at Wesley) [FAITH] Are you sure? (Angel ventures back to Hamilton and is now trying, in vain, to clear things up) [LORNE] Let me peek ... [ANGEL] I'm ever so sorry. Ooh, how embarrassing.. [LORNE] That's the one chickpea. I hope that daemonic loon hasn't frightened him off ... I love that that's the actual line ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ [ANGEL] Clean yourself off you bourgeois pig!! (he snorts then sees HOLTZ's gun...) Ohh sorry.... [FAITH] Will he invest? [LORNE] Pigeon, After spending the night with you, how can he refuse? [FAITH] What's his type? Wilting flower? *HMM* Bright and bubbly *GASP* or smoldering temptress? *GROWL* [LORNE] Just shake that Rogue Slayer booty, he'll give up half the holdings of Wolfram & Hart. [FAITH] I'll do it. [LORNE] We're all relying on you, Gosling ... Remember - a real show, with a real theater, with a real audience. And you'll be ... [FAITH] Better than Buffy! (Faith pops up, singing) [FAITH] Cause that's when those louses go back to their spouses. Diamonds are a girl's best friend! [FAITH] (to Wesley) I believe you were expecting me. [WESLEY] Yes ... oh my yes.
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Post by Aunt Arlene on Nov 21, 2004 23:08:23 GMT -5
Oh man, that was great! I would pay good money to actually see that scene played out. Well not good money, but still.
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Post by AlyWay on Nov 22, 2004 9:56:46 GMT -5
i had no idea i spoke hungarian. i rawk!!
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Post by Charisma69 on Nov 22, 2004 10:48:41 GMT -5
That was one kick @ss version of that song tj! So very cool. ;D
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Post by Aunt Arlene on Dec 28, 2004 19:28:16 GMT -5
Angel is having a bad night. The blood he had before bedtime isn't sitting right with him. He is trying to sleep, but odd dreams keep interfering. In his current dream the Hyperion is being swept away by a freak L.A. tornado.
Angel is wandering the halls of the Hyperion looking for the rest of the gang. He is calling out their names, but nobody is responding. He makes his way downstairs and looks out into the courtyard, where Spike is standing in a bright patch of sunlight.
Angel: Why aren't you answering my prayers by bursting into flames, Spike? What are you doing here anyway? It's only season three. Spike: It's your subconscious. I just work here.
Spike glances inside the Hyperion which only appears in black and white.
Spike: Your hotel looks a bit drab. Did you decide to color coordinate it with your clothes? Angel: Shut up Spike.
Spike and Angel exit the courtyard expecting to find the busy street in front of the Hyperion. They both stop short and stare like slack jawed yokels. The street has been replaced with a cartoon like setting. The colors are so vivid it almost hurts their eyes.
Spike: I have a feeling were not in California anymore. Angel: I just hope I'm not in Pylea again.
The bushes around them start rustling and they hear a high pitched giggling.
Spike: That's a right manly speaking voice you've got there Angel. Angel: Shut up Spike. That wasn't me.
A large bubble starts to float out of the sky. It stops a few feet away from them and pops, revealing...
Angel: Lorne? Don't tell me you're the Good Wi- Lorne cuts him off.
Lorne: That's the Good Demon of the North, if you please. Angel: Right, whatever. Where am I, what's Spike doing here, and what is that irritating little giggle I keep hearing? Lorne: Oh that's just laughter from the the Donut Holes, crabcake. They're just happy because you killed the Wicked Witch of the East. Spike: Donut Holes? Angel: Crabcake? Lorne Well, we got into a bit of a tiff with Dunkin' Donuts. We had to call them Donut Holes and I have to refrain from calling you pastries. Spike: So where is this witch we supposedly killed?
Lorne gestures toward the somewhat lopsided foundation of the Hyperion. Two rather large feet adorned in a pair of expensive looking high heels are sticking out from under the hotel. Angel glances at the heels, then at his feet.
Angel: I'm not going to have to wear those shoes am I? Lorne: It's your dream so the magical garment is of course a Fabulous Black Trench.
As they speak, the FBT appears on Angel.
Angel: Can we make Spike wear the heels?
More giggling can be heard. Lorne announces that it is safe to come out of the bushes. The, um, Holes start to come out of hiding. A small group approaches Angel and offers him a large lollipop. They open their mouths, but Angel cuts them off.
Angel: Can we skip the singing? Lorne: Fine, fine. Um... Lorne looks lost in thought. Angel: What? Lorne: I was just trying to think of something to call you, but it's hard without using pastry names. Spike: I know! Why don't you just call him... Angel and Lorne simultaneously: Shut up Spike!
Suddenly a cloud of red smoke starts coming out of the ground. As it dissipates, Lilah emerges brandishing a large broom. The Holes all cower in fear.
Lorne: Oh great. It's the Wicked Witch of the West. Lilah: What is going on here? Where is my sister? Where's Eve? She notices the feet sticking out from under the hotel. She runs up to Angel. You! You killed my sister! Spike: Enough of this. I need some lubrication. Angel: Oh don't tell me he's the Tin Man in this little scenario. Spike: What? No, I just need a drink. Spike pulls out a flask and takes a swig of bourbon. Lilah: Are you people listening to me? Lorne: Oh begone, before somebody drops a house on you! Lilah (to Angel): I'll get you, and your little dog too! Lilah points her broom at Spike. Spike: Hey!
Lilah disappears in the same red smoke she arrived in. The Holes start singing "Ding dong Eve is dead". Angel turns to address Lorne.
Angel: I'm assuming I have to follow the Yellow Brick Road, meet three other people and find the great Oz? Lorne nods his ascent. Look. I have to be up in 45 minutes. Can we cut this short and just pretend I've met them all already? Lorne: Fine, my little...um..damn! Angel: Oh, and if this Oz turns out to be Seth Green, we're going to have a little talk later.
Gunn, Fred and Wes soon appear in front of Angel and Spike.
Gunn: You didn't make me the Cowardly Lion did you? That's right you didn't! 'Cause dream or no dream we'd be throwin' down!
Gunn calms down and they all line up at the start of the Yellow Brick Road. Fred, Wes, Spike, and even Gunn start skipping down the road. They get ten yards and realize that Angel hasn't moved.
Angel: I'm not skipping.
They all run back and start dragging him down the road. They start making pretty good time until Lilah sics her Flying Harmonies on them. Fortunately these minions are easy to confuse and they soon find themselves before the Great Oz.
Royal Announcer: All hail the Great Oz!
Cordelia enters the room and ascends her throne.
Cordelia: This time my throne has plenty of cushions. I hear Spike killed Lilah by pouring his bourbon on her and she melted. I was going to kill her next season you know. Oh well. Saved me the hassle. Angel: Cordy, how do I get out of here? Cordelia: You've always had the power. Just flip up the collar of you FBT and say, "There's no place like Rome." Spike: Ciao! Angel: Spike, I think I'll miss you least of all.
Angel wakes up and swears off drinking blood before bedtime.
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Post by tjaman on Dec 28, 2004 19:34:47 GMT -5
* mad applause * That was just ... fun. Auntie. A mad pantload of fun.
Let's see 'em try to twist ^^^^^^ that out of context.
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